sub-burbs

On the heels of my worrying about living up to Mistress’s standards came a little something today that told me I was worrying over nothing.

Early this morning, Mistress Trecia IMed me to say that she had been in the emergency room all night because she had a door slammed on her hand.  Fortunately, nothing was broken, but she was hurting badly and asked if I’d post a message telling everyone what had happened, letting them know she would be scarce over the next few days, and saying that she needed flowers and gifts to help her feel better.

I immediately looked for a florist in her area (and found the wonderful folks at Bachmans) and posted that info along with my post.  I then placed my own order, sending Mistress a bouquet of flowers (asking them to include as many purple ones as possible since that was her color) and a box of chocolates (since chocolate fixes everything). 

A little while later, Mistress added this to my post:

You are SUCH a good boy! The arrangement is fucking gorgeous, and definitely made me smile. And once I calm my tummy (it’s a lil shaky due to the pain and pain medication), I will be ripping into those chocolates.

If any of you readers out there are curious about how to endear yourself to a Domme, you’d be well served studying my timidboy… he’s a VERY rare gem. I don’t know that I’ve ever been blessed with a better one, and I collect THE BEST!!!

I was so touched by those words and the anxiety I was holding onto finally disappeared.  I was also just glowing for the rest of the day, high on the praise and buzzing with the thought that I had pleased Mistress, even during her time of pain.

In most situations, you are not supposed to derive your own happiness from others.  (I’ve even plowed my way through books like "Codependent No More" in an effort to find my own happiness within myself.)  In subspace, however, this is one of the purest joys and manifestations of the D/s relationship.  Mistress calls me her puppy and pet, and that is exactly the vibe - roll over on cue and get a treat or a satisfying scratch behind the ear.  It’s that simple singular joy of successfully completing a task or just making Mistress smile that just makes me feel so good in a way that nothing else can.

My meeting with Mistress is now only a month away and I can’t wait to finally be able to serve at her feet, to see that radiant smile of hers, and to get the literal pat on the head when I fulfil her needs or succeed in one of her challenges.

That feeling is the one thing I missed most about subbing and something I cherish more than anything.