One Week
My "livespace" meeting with Mistress Trecia is one week from today. (Almost exactly - right around now is when I can check into the hotel next Wednesday.) I’m starting to get nervous again.
Mistress told me today that she expects to have 10 new videos for her Parlor (members’ area) by the time I leave and then asked "By the way, how do you feel about outdoor bondage?" I know now that Mistress has all sorts of things in store for me, beyond what I’ve been imagining in my head. I trust her completely, but there is a little voice inside me wondering what lies in store.
I’m also getting hornier by the day as my state of denial is leaving me incredibly frustrated and aching for release. I’ve also started to subconsciously do the things that I used to do when I was horny, things like surf porn, daydream about attractive women I see on the street or in the office, and so on. Of course, these things just perpetuate the cycle.
Last night, Mistress gave me some latitude, saying that I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didn’t cum and was in some sort of pain while I did it. I told her I planned to put mousetraps on my nipples while I stroked for a while. She asked if I enjoyed the traps and, after saying "yes", she laughed at me and called me her little pain slut. (She knew what the answer was before she asked and knows that I’ve been embracing the fact that pain turns me on.)
Naked and with the mousetraps clipped into place, I started surfing some porn sites and stroking, hitting the edge again and again, but still just stroking away in a desperate attempt to take the edge off my frustration. The next time I glanced at the clock, I realized that I had been at this for 90 minutes and forced myself to stop. It took me another hour to fall asleep, with visions of naked women dancing in my head and my cock throbbing wanting the one thing I couldn’t give it.
I awoke this morning with the granddaddy of all morning wood and PJ bottoms that were soaked with pre-cum. Simply washing myself in the shower was a painful experience as every ounce of me screamed out to just "wash" a little more, wanting to cum so incredibly badly. I can’t even do something so mundane without a aching reminder that my cock no longer belongs to me.
While my resolve is strong, the battle between my need to obey Mistress and my physical needs is taxing all of the willpower I can muster.
This is going to a long week…
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