sub-burbs

Tonight I met a friend for drinks.  (From here on out, I’ll call him "Jim".)  Jim and I have known each other for awhile, but just last week I "came out" to him about my relationship with Mistress Trecia and sent him the link to my blog.

Jim, in turn, floored me with the revelation that he was also into D/s as a Top.  He said we should really meet for drinks and I quickly agreed.

While we did discuss both our backgrounds, one of the main things we talked about were our relationships.  Jim recently broke up with his partner because he was completely vanilla and just didn’t understand Jim’s interest in D/s.  If you’ve been reading any of my blog, you already know that this rang so true to me since I’m in the same dilemma with my wife. 

At one point, he actually said the phrase, "We clicked in every area except for the sex" which I’ve said myself during these past few months.  His thought was that there were two things that would have made him happy - either his partner embracing D/s or him fulfilling his need for it outside the relationship.

In many ways, hearing Jim discuss this was very much a relief.  I had read another extremely similar account in "Different Loving", but hearing a long-time friend in the exact same situation made me feel like I wasn’t alone.  Of course, it also made me feel like my efforts to try and salvage my marriage were not worth it since I’m already wondering if we are bound to the same fate (no pun intended).

When my wife picked me up for the long commute home, she asked what Jim and I had discussed and I relayed the story about his breakup.  She got very quiet and we barely said anything to each other for the entire hour it took to get home.  She went to bed without a word, leaving me to sit alone and stare and the walls wondering where to go from here.

Mistress has told me that she respects that I’m trying to work things out with my wife, but I’m back to the same conclusion that Jim had.  I know my wife will never  be able to Domme.  Besides the fact that she has already expressed distaste for the lifestyle, she also still sees it as a part to play.  I’ve tried to make her understand that there are people that are the opposite of me, those that need to cause others pain for their own pleasure, and that it is they who can fill this void.

I have a feeling that we’ll have a lot to talk about tomorrow.