Starting a FemDom marriage in the Vanilla Kingdom

Archive for May, 2007

Dinner Service

Last night, we got home at our usual time and I set about making dinner.  (In the last few weeks, I’ve been taking over the role of a house boy, doing all the cleaning and cooking.)  It wasn’t anything too fancy - I baked some chicken breasts and tossed them together with a little alfredo sauce, broccoli, and whole wheat pasta.

I brought a plate to MJ who was already in her chair queuing up the movie we had rented the night before ("Music and Lyrics").  As I started to set the plate on her side table, She looked up at me and sternly said "Stop".  I halted in my tracks, wondering what was going on.

MJ motioned for me to stand in front of her, then said "Kneel".

Flushed with the full force of the submissiveness of the gesture, I knelt before Her, head bowed, and offered the plate up with both hands.  She took it from me, tasted the food, then motioned for me to come closer, pulling my head to her chest and stroking my hair.

"Good boy," She said, her lips pressed against my ear.

When she let me stand to go fetch my own plate, I was walking on clouds.  That simple gesture just lit me up and gave me the satisfaction of doing well and pleasing my Miss, something that completely feeds my submissive nature.

Back when we were both living in California, MJ and I saw a marriage counselor who recommended the book "Codependent No More" since, obviously, anyone who gets pleasure from doing things for other people is completely broken.  You should always do for yourself, right?  Anything else is unhealthy.

It’s taken me about 14 years to realize that service is what I crave more than anything. 

When we had Arthur and Fenny over a couple of weeks ago, Art kept telling me I didn’t have to keep fetching them drinks and snacks while we were talking.  All I had to say was "This is what I do" and he completely understood. 

I am a submissive.  I live to serve.

I’ve always been like this to some degree.  I was heavily involved in peer support groups and charity organizations as early as junior high and always enjoyed knowing I was either taking the burden off of others or that my work made them happy.

After I embraced my submissive side earlier this year, I’ve been looking back at my life with that context and there were so many signs I should have seen, my love of service being just one of many.  Why my true nature was so hidden from me I’ll never know, but finally looking into myself and discovering it has brought me a world of happiness and peace.

Once MJ was done with Her dinner, She snapped Her fingers, called me by saying "boy", then told me to bring Her some dessert.


Contentment at last…

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MJ’s Edits

MJ read my blog post about the toy cabinet and wanted me to include two items:

  • It seems that MJ was planning the cabinet all along and had been carrying the IKEA catalog to work for the past week to get ideas.  She said the scale of the cabinet changed while we were shopping and that Her original concept was to take a dresser or chest and mod it a little bit.
  • One surreal moment I left out was the two of us huddled over a table in IKEA’s restaurant discussing what would go in each drawer.  Items like "Do you think one drawer will be enough for cuffs and chains" and "We should have a separate drawer for the dildos and vibrators" in the otherwise vanilla setting made for an interesting time.

I am still really pleased with how the cabinet turned out and am looking forward to filling it up with all sorts of new toys!

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Flogger Session

Monday, MJ told me that she was going to treat me to a special session as a reward for my work on the toy cabinet.  I was downstairs with the wonderful assignment of taking a break (using the time to catch up on my TiVo) and was summoned to the top of the stairs.

MJ sent me out to Taco Bell for some dinner (another treat!) and told me to hurry back.  When I returned, I was told to bring the food upstairs with a bottle of wine and my laptop.  The bedroom was lit by candles (the awesome ones by, so the room smelled fantastic) and MJ was in the closet with the doors closed.  I got to work laying out dinner for us and opening the wine (making sure to strip first so as not to violate the "no clothes upstairs" rule).

As I was finishing, the closet door opened and MJ came out dressed in a black corset and gypsy skirt with little bells at the waist.  Her hair was wet from a shower while I was out.  I was told to take a shower of my own (I was still stinky from sweating over the construction) and to come back into the bedroom.

When I did, MJ was sitting on the bed and motioned for me to join her.  She placed the laptop between us and offered me some food.  "Many people, including Mrs. Claudia, said that you boys shouldn’t have any porn.  The problem is", MJ continued, "I like porn!"  We shared a laugh and then I was told to pull up one of the porn sites MJ and I had discussed earlier, a pay-per-view site called

She allowed me to pick a movie and we watched it while we ate.  (It was a "forced orgasm" site where women are tied up to a vibrating rig and left there while the orgasm repeatedly.  HHHHhhhhot…)  Then, She selected a movie, one about a babysitter that gets caught watching porn by the man who hired her and punished.  While we were watching it, MJ reached over and started to stroke my cock.

Between the video and the stimulation, I started to creep close to the edge and asked if I would be allowed to cum, knowing that it was way too early in the evening.  MJ stopped stroking and told me to put the laptop away.  After I had done so, MJ told me to kneel before her and I was rewarded as she pulled my head to her chest and stroked my hair, telling me how pleased she was with Her new toy cabinet and gifts.  She then slid a blindfold over my eyes, helped me to my feet, and guided me to the bed. 

During that exchange, I asked how MJ wanted me to address her, the labels still a little up in the air after the discussion we had earlier in the week.  "Just for the next few hours, you may call me Mistress."  I was grinning like an idiot as I took my place on the bed, pleased that MJ granted me this little pleasure.

MJ had me lie down face up and I could hear Her walking around the bed thanks to the little bells.  In just a few minutes, she had cuffs fastened around my wrists and ankles after which I was told to turn over.  The cuffs were all quickly chained to the new under-mattress restraint system leaving me spreadeagled and helpless.  Then the music kicked in, some awesome "dungeon music" we picked up at IML.

The warm skin of MJ’s hands started rubbing and stroking my bare back, alternating with scratches from her newly-filed nails.  Her hands were replaced by the leather of a flogger, the strands being teasingly dragged across my flesh, the sensual nature of the feeling foreshadowing their true purpose.

Without warning, I heard the telltale whistle as the flogger came down onto my back.  This was MJ’s first experience with the flogger, but she did a really good job of spreading out the blows and varying her technique, some landing with a sting as the strands separated and others hitting me with the impact of a solid rubber mallet.  The blows increased in intensity over time, the abuse peppered with short breaks where I was stroked with MJ’s furry wand.

MJ then unchained me and told me to lay on my back.  "Stroke for me, boy, " She said.  "I want to watch."  While I stroked, I noticed that She was pleasuring herself, something made especially obvious when she held a wet finger up to my lips so I could taste Her juices.

"Is it nice and hard for me, boy?"  Yes, Mistress.  "Then fuck me with it…"  I climbed on to MJ, my ache for release stripping away all of my self-control as I started to thrust with abandon.  MJ grabbed a handful of my hair and said, "Slow…..down…."   I did, but it didn’t help much.  I was already on the edge and holding on with all the will I could muster.  Finally, as I realized that MJ was about to reach her own orgasm, I asked for my own.  "YES!  Yes - cum now!"

My reward came in wave after wave of pleasure, the pent up denial of the past week flooding out of me as I screamed out in passion.   My head still swimming, MJ guided me back down to the bed so I could catch my breath and float down out of the clouds.

Once we both regained our senses, we started to discuss the session.  MJ asked me to rate the level of pain during the session, guessing it was probably around a 6 out of 10 (1 being no pain at all, 10 being the maximum I thought I could handle).  I told her it was actually closer to 2 - 3.  Shocked, she asked how high I’ve ever gone in a session and I told her probably about a 6.  With that news, MJ got a scary smirk on her face and gleam in her eye telling me that I am probably going to really suffer during our next session.

We discussed the session more during our ride to work this morning.  I was shocked to learn that we had been playing for almost 90 minutes since the session felt really short to me.  We discussed how much "warm up" time I thought I needed and agreed that I probably didn’t need that much.  I also told MJ that the frequent breaks were not that necessary and that more pain was better.  That brought us into a discussion about how much pain I "needed" in that type of session and I admitted that pain was a pretty big part of what sends me into subspace during a punishment session.

All in all, it was a fantastic session and another great glimpse into MJ’s emergence as a Domme.  She is planning to talk to the other Dommes at Galleria Domain once we join in order to find a mentor and further her learning. 

Every day, I am constantly reminded that I’m the luckiest guy in the world.  Not only have we managed to put our marriage back on track, but I get to have my soulmate and true love as my owner and keeper.

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IML & Insanity

Friday, I took the day off and accompanied my friend Jim to the International Mister Leather market.  IML is a gigantic gay leatherfest that is held every year in Chicago and people from all over the world come to town for the event.  In addition to the seminars, contests, and parties, IML also hosts a huge vendor market of BDSM gear.

I spent a few hours touring the place with Jim scouting the place for MJ.  She had given me a list of items to find so I could guide her to the booths that contain stuff she was looking for.  When I discovered that market stretched over four ballrooms at the Palmer House, I realized that a few hours wouldn’t cut it.

Once we had gotten an overview, Jim and I went over to Bennigan’s for drinks and a snack.  He then went to join his friends and get ready for the parties that night while I waited for MJ to get off of work.

MJ joined me at the hotel at just after 6 p.m., one hour before the market closed.  She quickly realized that we both needed more time to enjoy the atmosphere (the hundreds of barely dressed hot guys got MJ’s attention pretty quickly) and to shop, so we decided to come back on Saturday.

We ended spending way too much at the market, but got a ton of great stuff including a leather harness for me, some amazing floggers, and a new set of wrist and ankle cuffs.

Here are some pics of our "haul":

Harness Good Vibrations  Cuffs
Floggers Bondage Tape  Candles
Nipple Clips Bling Pinwheel

On Sunday, we realized we needed a place to keep all of our stuff.

Before I continue, I should mention that I have a knack for insane projects.  For instance, rather than just put an action figure on my desk at work, I actually build detailed "playsets" for my toys.  One of the things I love about MJ is her equal love of these crazed, over-the-top undertakings.  (She wanted to make a few modifications to our new house, starting with removing the entire staircase.)

So, what do two people who love crazy projects do when they need a toy chest?  They go to IKEA and build an 8-foot tall cabinet into their closet!

Yeah - I told you we’re nuts.

We brought all the pieces home Sunday afternoon and I spent the better part of 11 hours installing the cabinet.  The result is a very goth looking cabinet with drawers for all our goodies, shelves for books and toy bags, and a pull out rack to hang floggers and other implements.

In order to make it fit in the closet, I had to remove all of my clothes and take down the shelf that was mine.  I am the boy after all and when it comes down to storage for MJ’s toys or closet space for my stuff, I lose by default.  (Actually, I gladly gave up the space, partly because it was the only way this would work correctly and I really wanted this awesome cabinet to shine, but also because it was something so subservient and I loved the feeling of MJ taking another little piece of control over me.)

Here is the finished product in all its insane glory:

Outside Inside Pull-Out Rack Drawer Labels
Chains Artistic View Straps and Clips  

If I didn’t think that MJ was taking our new roles seriously, this would certainly have changed my mind!

That night, we actually got a chance to play, but that’s a story for another post.


TMI Tuesday #85

Happy TMI Tuesday!

1. When you orgasm, do you hold your breath?

No. I’m pretty vocal, so there is a lot of panting and moaning.

2. Have you ever had sex or played around with a celebrity?

Never, but would have loved to run into Melanie Anton during her modeling career or Sara Rue in her Gypsy 83 days.

3. Do you think prostitution should be legal? Why or why not?

Yes. If it’s legal and regulated, you cut down on women forced into the trade and also ensure that those practicing are healthier with regular screenings for disease. There are women who are pushed into prostitution every year, something I’m against. But if a woman wants to have sex for money and guys want to pay for it, I don’t see any problem with that.

4. How do you masturbate? Do you romance yourself? Get straight to the point? Read erotic material?

No romance, get straight to it. I usually like to partake in some sort of erotic material like podcasts, videos, pictures, or stories.

5. Which gives you the most pleasure - intercourse, masturbating for/with your partner, being masturbated by your partner.

Masturbated by partner. I’m all about the power exchange and having another person push you past the "point of no return" is one of the hottest things around.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had a crush on a relative?

No. My relatives aren’t that hot…


Sugasm #81

Sugasm #81

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #82? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you’re all set.

This Week’s Picks
Do / Do Not (…)
“Do – stop in the hallway to kiss and fondle me before even getting to the room.”

The Red Cross of Fucking (…)
“They can pay her a “finder’s fee,” and everybody will be happier.”

Review: The Amputee’s Guide to Sex (…)
“When he first mentioned it he turned his disability into a fetish.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Meet Lin Chong, Dong Assistant (…)

Editor’s Choice
Mothers day 3 (…)

Join the Sugasm


See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday (

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Agly (…)
All Day Love (…)
Do You Know? (…)
Heartbeats and Breaths (…)
Hidden Desire - Submission #1 (…)
Horny Sales Girl Giving Pleasure (…)
Joshua Three - Part Three (…)
Lay With You (…)
One More Night pt. 3 (…)
Overtime With The Boss (…)
The Pussy Slayer (…)
Room Service (…)
Watch Me Squirm (…)
Welcome home honey (…)

Sex News & Reviews
Ow! You’re On My Hair! (…)
Since when is stripping news? (…)

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Aria Giovanni Nude (…)
Audio: Pussy Lickin’ Good (…)
Girlfriend of “Sexual Expression” in the Kitchen (…)
Half-Nekkid and Guilt-Free Hiney (…)
Happy HNT - Hand spanking video (…)
Irina & Alena (…)
Natali Demore and Lady Dalbin (video) (…)
Presenting Avril (…)
Supermodels from Peru (…)
Titty Tuesday (…)
Video #1/”Sexual Nostalgia” (…)

Sex Work
A Day In The Life Of A Professional Fetish Blogger (…)
Madeleines (…)

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Alpha & Beta (…)
Defining Erotic (…)
Friday (…)
I loved this then and still love it now… (…)
The Problem with Porn Part II: Manifestations Online (…)
The Sex Kitten History; The Sex Kitten Future (…)
Spanked by Robin Byrd, or not that innocent (…)
A Strange New World of Emotion (…)

Sex Humor
Man Gets Out Of Traffic Ticket, Potential Threesome Cited (…)

BDSM & Fetish
Art, human condition and spanking (…)
Darkness (…)
I’m Easy (Sort of) - Reflections on Cuckolding (…)
Star Trek and BDSM (…)
Wednesday Session (…)
Wolves vs. vampires (…)

Titty Tuesday courtesy of Imelda Imelda.

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Mass Update (again)

A lot has happened since my updates started to wane, so I’m going to give some brief highlights and then pick up today with stories of our wild holiday weekend.

Two weeks ago, MJ and I visited our first slosh, a gathering near O’Hare airport.  We had originally heard about it via their website, but decided to make the trip when we discovered that many of the West Suburban Munch folks also hung out there.

When we arrived, we were greeted by Joyful, the organizer of the West Suburban Munch who recognized us from the dinner and remembered our names.  She planted us next to another couple (whom I will call Arthur and Fenny) who are also new to the lifestyle, but in opposite roles (Arthur is the Top).  They were a lot of fun and we spent the entire night huddled in our small group talking about anything and everything.

Arthur mentioned that he was putting together a small get together for the following night, but wondered if we could host as most of the people that were going to attend were from our area.  We agreed and invited them over.

Saturday night, the "party" ended up just being me, MJ, Arthur, and Fenny discussing The Scene and playing board games.  (The others we were expecting went to a vigil for a friend, the "missing Mom" in Plainfield.)  We still had a great time despite the poor turnout and are planning to meet up again sometime in the near future.

The next week, MJ and I went the slosh again, but none of the folks whom we started to bond showed up and the group seemed especially cliquey, so we had dinner and bowed out to go see the new Pirates movie.

Saturday, we attended the LRA club open house.  Even though we loved Galleria Domain, we decided to check out LRA partly to compare but also because many of the folks we know from the slosh hang out there.  Unlike the GD tour (which was just that - look at the equipment, but leave before the members arrive), this was actually a chance to the club during a typical play night.

LRA is basically a large, single-room warehouse space filled with equipment and a couple of small seating areas.  There really wasn’t that much atmosphere compared to the vibe we got at GD.  We were impressed by the wide range of participants, both in style and skill level.  (MJ was worried about playing in a public club, thinking she would be the rank amateur amongst a bunch of skilled Tops.  Seeing folks of all skill levels eased her fears greatly.)

The equipment was well maintained and they had a good variety of different pieces, but everything was a little close together.  (In the couple of hours we were there, we noticed folks rearranging things so they could get to the equipment they wanted.)

We hung out for almost three hours before calling it a night.  On the way home, MJ and I discussed our options on the way home and we’ve decided to get a trial membership to Galleria Domain, preferably to coincide with their planned members-only flogging workshop.  Although we have relationships with the LRA folks, we both really liked the atmosphere and more "upscale" feeling of GD as well as their monthly educational programs.

MJ is also planning to approach the GD folks about using their space to do erotic photography, a new side venture of hers to get back behind the lens and to bump up our toy budget!  The brick / wood floor / tapestry look of the place would be a beautiful backdrop for custom D/s photo sessions.  We haven’t found anyone doing "D/s portraiture" in the local scene and MJ’s style is perfect for that type of work.  I’ll post some samples once she finds her first models.

This brings us up to the Memorial Day weekend and our trip to IML, but that deserves its own post.

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Double Slacking

Okay, my massive push to update the on-going saga got sucked into my recent Real Life vortex.  Work has been crazy and when it came down to a choice between enjoying life with MJ or writing about it, things here suffered. 

Apologies for the slacking and thanks to the folks who wrote in to ask if everything was okay.  It is, I was just too busy enjoying things to stop and write!

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If you’ve been following the site for the past couple of weeks, you may have noticed I’ve been struggling with labels when referring to my wife Jacqueline.

Even though I am collared 24/7 and have taken on the role of lifestyle sub, there are still many times when we fall back into our old married couple routine.  Therefore, I have been referring to my wife as Jacqueline or Jaci during those times and Miss Jacqueline during sessions.

This doesn’t just go for the blog - I’m also struggling with labels at home and so is Jaci.  She gets uncomfortable when I refer to her as "Miss" or "Ma’am" in public (in a BSDM club, for instance) or even around the house.  We’ve discussed this and me explaining that it is a term of respect (much like addressing officers during my time in the Navy) seemed to help ease her feelings about it somewhat.

While we sort this out, I figured the blog is a good place to start, so from now on I will be referring to her as "Miss Jacqueline" or "MJ".  (Take that, Spidey!)

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Wednesday Session

Wednesday morning, Miss Jacqueline had a little wake up surprise for me.

Given the "no clothes upstairs" rule, I sleep naked now, so I was awakened by a slap on my bare ass which turned into a bare ass spanking.  I went from dead sleep to subspace as my head groggily swam trying to figure out what was going on.

"Get up and kneel next to the bed," Miss Jacqueline instructed.  "Now, stroke."

I did as she commanded, grabbing my cock in my hand and stroking as she undressed herself.  She scooted to the edge of the bed and then laid back, lifting her feet so they rested on my chest.  She then moved her left foot up so her toes were pressed against my lips.

"Suck, boy!"  I took her toes into her mouth, playing my tongue across them as I watched Miss Jacqueline start to touch herself with a deep, pleasureful moan.  The sight of Her naked and sprawled on the bed combined with the erotic feeling of her toes in my mouth sent me to the edge immediately and I started to shake with the overload of sensations.

Seeing that I was about to lose it, Miss Jacqueline pulled her feet away and ordered me to fuck her.  Since She was already at the edge of the bed, I just had to stand up and slide inside her sacred walls, the heat and wetness almost causing me to cum instantly.  Miss Jacqueline grabbed my hair and said, "Don’t you dare cum!"

I managed to focus and keep my pending orgasm in check while pleasuring Miss.  After a few minutes, She pushed me off and said, "You look like you could use some breakfast" then pulled my head down between Her legs.

Kneeling at the edge of the bed again, I started gently teasing Miss’s clit with my tongue, her moaning increasing as She approached climax, my own thankfully starting to wane as I focused my energy on my assigned task.  Miss hit her peak and told me to stop as She tried to catch her breath.

A moment later, Miss Jacqueline started touching herself again and ordered me to stroke.  I was back on edge and started begging for release.

Finally, Miss Jacqueline ordered me to cum and I did again and again, my sticky mess shooting onto the floor, the sight of which brought Miss to another loud orgasm of Her own.

Once we both came back to Earth, Miss Jacqueline kissed me and said, "Good morning" with a smile. 

Good morning, indeed!

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