Starting a FemDom marriage in the Vanilla Kingdom

Mass Update

This weekend was incredibly busy, so I’m going to pack a few days worth of updates into a single post.


Thursday morning, traffic was a bear and I was at risk of being late for an important meeting at work.  (We’re moving into a new building and I was supposed to be on a group tour of the new space, an event where my absence would be noticed.)  The thought of missing the tour and the frustration over the stopped traffic made me start to fume.

Normally, I have to bottle that feeling up because my wife Jacqueline has a low tolerance for me being irate behind the wheel.  Today, something odd happened.  As I was "hrumfing" under my breath, Jacqueline reached over and pinched the inside of my right arm, first just firmly but then increasing the pressure until it began to hurt.

I looked at her and she had transformed into Miss Jacqueline.  The pain and look in her eye immediately shoved me into submissive mode and I was shocked when all the frustration and anger faded away, replaced by a peaceful calm and a tiny bit of subspace rush.

When the moment had passed, Jaci just released my arm, chuckled to herself, and went back to her book.  I was actually speechless, partly because of my reaction to what had just happened but also because Jaci channeled her Domme into confronting a situation that probably would have led to a fight a couple of months ago.  I was thrilled and humbled at the same time, awed at the speed at which my wife is becoming a full-fledged lifestyle Domme in her own right.


After work Friday, Jacqueline and I met with my friend Hawk.  It was the first time he had seen her in several years and the first get together since Jaci and I started down our current path into a FemDom marriage.  We finished eating dinner around 9 p.m. and, looking for a quiet and private place to talk, went back to the office where I work and went into a conference room.

The three of us talked until almost 1 a.m.  Well, I mostly listened as Jacqueline filled Hawk in on the issues we had been facing (including my betrayal at having gone to a pro Domme to fulfill my needs instead of coming to her and what that meant to her).  Jacqueline really opened up and poured out a lot of the anger and frustration she had at me and also at her struggle with taking on this new role so soon after being hit with the news of my indiscretion.

Her words were difficult for me to hear, but I don’t think she would have said them without a facilitator present.  Hawk also gave us a lot of advice from his own experiences of being kinky in a vanilla relationship and his moving from that into his current embrace of D/s.

Jacqueline and I continued the talk on the way home and both feel that the discussion and advice were a huge help.

When we got home, we popped in Exit to Eden on DVD.  We both had some fond memories of the film from when it first came out and we tracked down a copy for our video collection.  (It’s out of print, so we had to use the Amazon Marketplace.)  Given my original thoughts about the movie, I was shocked at how disrespectful it was to the D/s lifestyle and the Domme/sub dynamic.  I know my attitudes, knowledge, and feelings about BDSM and the scene have changed greatly, but this really showed me how much more I understand D/s and also how important it has become to me.

Of course, now I need to track down the book to see if this was all the filmmaker’s doings or if there was some of this dynamic in the original.  Given Anne Rice’s other landmark kinky works (including "Beauty’s Release"), I can’t imagine that is the case.


The day we’ve been looking forward to all week finally arrived - new member’s night at Galleria Domain.

I can’t give too many details as the first thing we had to do when we arrived was sign a bunch of paperwork including a non-disclosure agreement.  I will say this, though - the club is absolutely gorgeous.  It’s an old Chicago warehouse loft space with high ceilings and wood floors and each room is packed with an amazing array of BDSM equipment.  The people we met were also incredibly friendly and we were given a wonderful guided tour of each room and "play station".  We were also pleased at the variety of folks there, people of a wide range of ages and sizes, something that made us both feel completely comfortable.

After some mingle and talk time, we were treated to a lecture by Master Taino, one of the founders of the Master/slave Conference and runs Master Taino’s Training Academy, a group that provides seminars to Tops and bottoms.  The topic of the talk was "Dominant, but Caring" and his philosophy on being not just a Dom(me) but also a mentor and guardian, especially in a 24/7 lifestyle arrangement. 

One of the things he covered was the difference between those that are kinky and enjoy BDSM and those that get The Calling to becoming something more.  His words really resonated with me and once again confirmed for me how much my submissiveness is part of my core being.

On the way home from our visit, Jacqueline and I had a discussion about the club and if she felt up to performing in public.  She said she definitely wants to eventually and, in the meantime, would love to watch others at play (something the voyeur in me would also love).  She also agreed that we could probably meet some great mentors and learn quite a bit from the regulars.

LRA (Chicago’s other big BDSM club) is having an open house over Memorial Day weekend, so we’re going to check them out before we actually sign up as we both think that one club membership is more than enough for the time being.


Sunday, Miss Jacqueline told me that I had earned an assignment.  She was impressed at my lack of pressure toward joining a club and how much I was putting the final say in these matters in her hands.  It is a departure for me from our previous roles, especially when I wanted something badly.  (In the past, I would go to great lengths for something I wanted, including driving to Minnesota to serve a pro Domme in person behind my Wife’s back.)

Therefore, she allowed me to stroke until I edged three times with no time limit.  She even allowed me to use her computer (the only one in the house with a nice, big monitor and comfy chair).

I grabbed the lube and set up shop in Miss Jacqueline’s study, being sure to place a towel on the chair to prevent any stains.  I was rock hard almost instantly and got completely lost in the sensations of my hand gliding along my cock and my piercing providing me the wonderful urethral stimulation I love so much.  I willed myself to go slow at first and managed to stretch my first edge out to almost 10 minutes. 

Unfortunately, the next two came really quickly given my aroused and denied state.  After the third pending orgasm passed, I closed the movie I was watching on the screen and picked up after myself.  When I returned to the bedroom, Miss Jacqueline asked "Done so soon?" and then teased me for my inability to savor the wonderful gift I had been given.  She then reminded me that this could be a regular thing if I behave myself and keep serving her as well as I have been.

3 Comments so far

  1. Hawk May 14th, 2007 3:50 pm

    Yes, the Exit to Eden movie is fun, but the book is more of a love story not a comedy. I am tracking down the book as well. But have been told it is better than the movie. You know Hollywierd.

  2. Chris May 14th, 2007 4:04 pm

    A love story is fine. I was just *shocked* at how disrespectful the movie was to the D/s lifestyle and its practitioners.

    For instance: In the “cold opening” before the credits, the main character (a man coming to terms with his sub side) is talking with a shrink. The “punch line” for the scene is him admitting that his relationships weren’t working because he didn’t know how to ask for what he wanted.

    The “wink wink, nudge nudge” is that *he wanted spanking*. Hi-LAR-ious, right?


    What’s funny is that such things never phased me before. I guess I’m finally “getting it”.

  3. Hawk May 15th, 2007 10:26 am

    You know what they say, which is true . . .

    What people don’t understand, they fear, and make fun of…

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