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Starting a FemDom marriage in the Vanilla Kingdom

The Talk

This past weekend, MJ and I had a long discussion about our future with D/s.

First and most important, we both agreed that we enjoy D/s and that we want to continue our exploration of it.  The shape of how will we bring it back into our lives, however, is unknown at this point.  We are taking this opportunity to reinvent our D/s selves and even took some time to go through the BDSM checklist together to compare notes on hard and soft limits. 

(Much to my surprise and delight, MJ has said that she is no longer adverse to elecro-stim play nor needles!  She is really freaked out by needle suspension, but I’m hoping to some day be able to experience that particular sensation.  We also discussed my eventually getting a permanent mark as a show of devotion, possibly even a brand.)

In addition to going through the fetish catalog, we also discussed our past experiences including my brief bout as Her service sub.  We both agreed me keeping up an active, 24/7 submissive role in the household isn’t going to work for either of us, especially with the baby.  We do still have a femdom household in so many ways - MJ controls the money, the meal menu, the grocery list, and so on so it’s not like I’m suddenly going to become the head of the household.  Plus, we both thought that our sessions (even brief shows of devotion like foot rubs or other light play) would be more intense and fulfilling if we weren’t in that mode all the time.

MJ did say she wanted us to start slow and ease back into the lifestyle, possibly even wading in with some vanilla foreplay and sex to get us back in tune with each other.  (Due to my fears over hurting the baby or affecting the pregnancy, we haven’t had any "relations" since shortly after we found out MJ was pregnant.  Starting slow is probably a good idea for both of us.)

Overall, it was a great talk and we both feel recommitted to our sexual relationship and the D/s lifestyle.

On another note, I have been working slowly to replace the toys I gave away last year in the height of my commitment to another Domme.  I finally have a good set of urethral sounds (which were high on my priority list so I could measure myself for a Prince’s wand) and have a potential trading source so I can get an ErosTek ET-312 electro-stim unit.

Pictures to follow! 

2 Comments so far

  1. Thene April 17th, 2008 1:23 pm

    “We do still have a femdom household in so many ways - MJ controls the money, the meal menu, the grocery list, and so on so it’s not like I’m suddenly going to become the head of the household.”

    Funny how things like that can be seen as dominant in one context, submissive in another. If I had a femdom marriage, god knows I’d order the sub to take care of the meal menu and the grocery list!

  2. Chris April 17th, 2008 2:20 pm

    LOL - no kidding! We know one femdom couple in Chicago where the Mistress refuses to talk to the wait staff when they go out to dinner. It is the sub’s job to order the food and do all the interacting. She will just sit still and silent while her sub does all the talking.

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