Starting a FemDom marriage in the Vanilla Kingdom

Archive for June, 2008

Site Moved!

If you can see this, you’re on the new domain.  Woohoo!  I’m finally on the new server!  This means I can dump my old domain ( for good.  In the next couple of days, I’m going to set up a message that will display if you come in via the old URL to let people know it’s going to expire and then cease to exist.

Thanks to Steve at Zimfest for everything he’s done to straighten out the issues I was having and for helping me complete the move!

No comments

Review - Into The Attic

4h_clip_5 I like porn.  I really like porn.  I like porn so much, that I hit the 1 Terabyte mark last year and decided maybe it was time to start paring things down a little bit.

I say this so you can understand why I’m reviewing an adult pay site for the first time.  Someone from Into The Attic contacted me a few weeks ago and asked, simply, "What will it take to get a link to us on your site?"  A quick peek at their site showed some potential, so I offered to trade them a review and link for three months of access to their site. 

To their credit, I was told to review the site honestly and after spending some time going through their materials I now understand their confidence.  Into The Attic has produced some of the most authentic and well-produced BDSM videos on the Internet.

There are a lot of BDSM porn sites on the net, but it all feels very staged.  While it’s fun to watch, it always just seems like "BDSM Porn" and nothing more.  What really turns me on is watching couples play at our BDSM club or in event playrooms like the one at Thunder in the Mountains.  The unique and palpable connection between Top and bottom during a scene is impossible to fake and, for me, is what separates porn from true D/s scene play.

Watching the videos at Into the Attic, I see all the elements of real scene play:  The Dom/sub connection, limits being tested and pushed, and subs drifting off into that wonderful glow of subspace.  I think part of what sets their work apart is the fact that they use normal girls off the street that have D/s experience but who have never performed on film.

5h_clip_3 All of the videos are shot in the attic of a remote house in the woods of Portland, Oregon.  It’s an absolutely perfect setting for this type of bondage and you can just imagine the girls’ anticipation and nervousness driving through up to such a remote location knowing what is in store for them once they arrive.

Their sessions all start out with an in-depth interview with the sub, all of which get extremely personal (including them discussing their past D/s experience and masturbatory fantasies).  Then girls are then invited up into the attic and the fun begins.

The mix of "models" is impressive - they range in age from 19 to mid-30s and cover a variety of ethnic groups and body types.  (I’m a fan of chubby women and, while I’d never consider any of them anywhere close to BBWs, all of the models are naturally curvy in all the right places.)  While most of the sessions involve bondage, forced orgasms or orgasm denial, and impact play (spanking, flogging, caning, etc.), there are also some that involve outdoor bondage, food and messy scenes, and even one pregnant model in bondage.

The bondage practiced is all very functional and never gets too showy.  While the Doms are obviously well versed in Shibari, they only ever do as much tying as necessary without going overboard.

Into the Attic’s video production is also extremely impressive.  They shoot each session with multiple cameras so you don’t get jarring cuts during a scene.  In some cases, they put a video monitor behind the model for a "picture in picture" effect giving you two views at the same time.  For some sessions, they actually post raw footage showing just the model’s face or crotch as a bonus to supplement the regular action. 

One thing that pleases me greatly is that they always focus on a model’s face when she is about to orgasm.  In some cases, they make the model open her eyes, look directly into the camera, and announce she is going to cum.  For a person like me who loves to watch forced orgasms, this is one of the hottest things ever.

The videos are all 16:9 "widescreen" format in crystal-clear 720×480 resolution.  In addition, they offer high-res still photos of each session in a downloadable zip file.

3h_clip_4 As I said above, however, the one thing that really sets this site apart is that you really feel that Dom/sub connection.  There were many great scenes of the Dom gently pushing the sub’s limits (including one notable case where he kept the sub on the edge of orgasm for a good 10 minutes until she was practically weeping with unfilled lust, each time swearing that she couldn’t take any more but having the Dom prove her wrong) and some great predicament bondage (my favorite of which was a model who really wanted to orgasm, but also really wanted to have her breasts flogged and was forced to choose).

There are three other things that also set the site apart: 

  1. You can see everything available in the site without a login and only need an account to download the actual videos and photo zips.  This means you can fully preview all of their content before you buy.  (No more plunking down your credit card only to find a half-assed site with nothing that you were promised during the "free tour".)
  2. The producers run a real blog that talks about everything from their frustration at being stood up by models to how their spouses feel about the site to shopping at WalMart for pervertables (clothes pins, rope, packing tape, etc.)
  3. They offer a cash discount.  If you directly mail them your payment instead of going through their expensive credit card processing agency, they will pass the savings on to you.  (At the time of this writing, that means a discount of almost 50% off their monthly payment plan.)

The folks at Into the Attic have put together something really special.  Take a few minutes to drop by and check out what they have to offer.  You won’t be disappointed!

No comments

Updates and Site News

Site Move Update:  The site has been kinda quiet during the last couple of weeks.  I was waiting until the server move to make a post, but it seems that it is a bigger deal than originally anticipated.  (Making my sub-domain my new primary address revealed a bug in the domain management software my service provider uses.  They have updated the software this past weekend, so hopefully I’ll be able to finish the move soon!)

D/s Marriage:  MJ is moving us more and more toward a full-time D/s relationship, one that we are both determined to handle correctly this time.  She finished Ms. Rika’s book and fortunately had the same reaction to it that I did, namely the section that lists all of the wrong ways to have a FemDom marriage.  (We were both amazed to see a pretty accurate description of our struggles last year in more than one of the examples.)

MJ asked me to prepare a list of devotions that I feel would be appropriate to both help Her and show my devotion as Her sub.  Sometime during the next week, we are planning to have another in-depth discussion so I can present my list and also see the list MJ has been working on.

Collar:  MJ also made a cryptic reference to my collar and asked me to make a few modifications to it.  First, I wanted to make it a solid piece of wire rope instead of using a collar extender in the back.  I also wanted to try and find a lock that doesn’t look like a lock.  (I work in a pretty conservative corporate environment and I got a few odd looks last year when people noticed how my "necklace" fastened.)

A couple of weeks ago, I found a Chinese jewelry box lock on eBay that is absolutely perfect!  It locks securely with a specially-shaped key, but doesn’t look like a lock at all.  We also hit Ace Hardware this weekend and picked up a length of 1/16" wire rope and a couple of crimp connectors so I can rethread the entire thing as a single piece.  I’ll post pictures of the collar and lock once I finish the work.

Baby & Getting Out:  Our baby just turned four months old and MJ and I have been trying to figure out how to get out of the house to go to the BDSM club we belong to downtown.  The old "dinner and a movie" excuse doesn’t really work because the club doesn’t open until 10 p.m., so trying to get one of our family members to babysit would invite questions that we don’t want to answer.  Fortunately, the college-age daughter of someone MJ knows is looking for some babysitting work as well as photography tutoring (and might even be willing to trade one for the other).  Hopefully this will pan out and we can get back into Chicago’s BDSM social scene!

Until Next Time / Coming Soon:  That’s all the news for now.  Hopefully, I’ll be able to get the blog moved to its new home sometime later this week.  I also want to start to post some BDSM fantasy pieces I’ve been writing in a new "Fantasy Fridays" segment.  If things keep moving as they are, I should have a lot more D/s news to report on a regular basis as well.  (Hurray!)

1 comment

TMI Tuesday #139

1. What’s your favorite color of lingerie?

Usually black, but it depends on who’s wearing it.  (MJ looks really good in reds and blues.)

2. Do you have a porn collection?

Oh, yes.  I’m actually in the process of paring it down since I felt a Terabyte of porn was a little excessive.  My current collection spans all genres, but generally focuses on BDSM and BBWs.

3. Do you have any fetishes?

Take a look around - what do you think?  *smile*  I’d list them here, but that would take all day.  My biggest is obviously BDSM followed by a love for big women.  Lately, I’ve been fixated on play piercing and needle play.  (I just can’t get it out of my mind and hope that MJ will someday be willing to let me experience that.)

4. What is your favorite place to have sex?

I honestly don’t have a favorite place.  I typically like the physical interaction itself to be the centerpiece of the experience, so where it takes place is secondary.  (With that said, I’d love to try sex in public or at least the limited public of the BDSM club we belong to.  Now that I’m used to (and enjoy) being exposed in public, my new exhibitionist side is curious about going "all the way" with an audience.)

5. Do you like to scratch, bite, pull hair, etc? Do you like having it done to you?

Love having it done to me!  When MJ pulls my hair, it immediately puts me into a completely submissive zone.  I also like it when she bites the back of my neck or uses those luscious nails of hers anywhere on my body.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you think the number of sexual partners you’ve had is below average, average, or above average, and how does that make you feel?

Above average.  I’m actually okay with that.  I know a couple of guys who have only ever had one partner and I feel sorry for them missing out on the amazing variety of sexual pleasures out there.

No comments

Site Update

Trying to move from being the sub-domain of one site to a primary domain of another at the same hosting company is sending our servers into a big ole’ tizzy fit.

The site may be experiencing some intermittent outages today.  Everything will (hopefully) be up and running on the new server later today.

(At the moment, we’re back up on the old server while they figure out what is causing the issues.  Thanks to Steve at for his assistance!)

No comments

Floored / Site News

I am actually kinda speechless at the moment.

I just decided to check my blog stats to see what kind of traffic has been coming in as I get ready to move to my new server.  I was shocked to discover that I had over 9,300 unique visitors in the month of May!  That’s almost double what I was getting back in the heyday before MJ got pregnant and the site went dark for a few months.

I honestly don’t know what to say! 

First, I want to give a huge THANK YOU! to all of you for taking an interest in my blog!  I never envisioned this level of interest when I first started this, but I’m happy that I’ve been able to share my experiences and am incredibly flattered at the attention they have received.

I also want to give another big THANK YOU to all of you who have written in with your own stories and words of support over the last year.  The main reason I wanted to keep the site going once everything hit the fan last April was to hopefully help others who were in the same situation.  It means a great deal to me that I’ve actually been able to do that.

THANK YOU, one and all, for everything!

In other (somewhat) related news - I’m finally moving to a new hosting plan so I can bury my old timidboy persona forever.  Unfortunately, due to the way I originally set the site up, I will have to take the entire site down for a few hours to make the changeover. 

This Thursday night (June 12th) the site will disappear for a few hours while I move to my shiny new home and do a Wordpress upgrade.  Don’t panic - I’ll be back up before you know it!

Also - big kudos to Zimfest, my web host of choice!  They are just fantastic and have been wonderful to work with.  They’ve been a huge help during my move planning and I just can’t say enough nice things about them.

I host three of my own sites with them and several of my friends use them as well.  If you need an uber-reliable host with fantastic service at a great price, be sure to check them out!

No comments

TMI Tuesday #138

1. If you’re in love with your partner, does it make the sex better?

Absolutely!  There is something to be said about dirty, raunchy sex with someone you don’t know that well, but the emotional connection you can have is just amazing.  (I think that’s one of the reasons I love D/s so much - it’s all about that connection even when you’re not physically involved.)

2. What is the most expensive sex toy you’ve ever purchased?

My Venus 2000.  My electrosex gear was expensive (especially since I want to add a high-end power box and a violet wand), but that was the single largest purchase at around $1,200.

3. If you knew ahead of time you would not have an orgasm, would you still have sex?

Yes!  Tease and denial can be really fun games.  Part of my role as sub is to please my MIss without regard to my own pleasure.  Forcing a man to have sex then deny him his release can be a really powerful D/s experience for both parties.

sararue4. What celebrity would you most like to have sex with if given the chance?

Sara Rue, but only if I could go back in time before she got skinny.  (She was *so* hot in Gypsy 83 [on the left] and even in her "Less Than Perfect" show.)  I’m also a big Melanie Anton fan, but I don’t think 90’s BBW porn stars count as "celebrities".

 5. Have you ever had sex while an audience watched?

A few times.  I used to go to a few different swingers parties in San Diego and there were always people just watching.  The most interesting started as a seven-person grope in the hot tub.

Bonus (as in optional): Describe the best sexual encounter you’ve ever had.

That’s actually kinda tough.  For just "regular" sex, it’s probably when I was back in college.  I worked for the college arts department and had keys to the stage and scene shop.  I took my girlfriend (who is now my Mistress/Wife) on a surprise late-night visit backstage.  It was really creepy and erotic.  I laid out a mattress that was in the prop room in one of the side stage alcoves and we made love by flashlight.

1 comment

TMI Tuesday #137

I was torn about this week’s questions.  They seemed a little gender specific and borderline offensive.  Since none of the other commenters at TMI Tuesday thought this was an issue, I figured it might just me being overly sensitive.  In any case, Happy TMI Tuesday!

1. How old were you when you first kissed a boy?
16 - I kissed girls before then (including getting trouble in preschool for smooching during "circle time"), but that was my first boy kiss.

2. Who would play you in the movie of your life story?
Appearance-wise, probably Kevin Smith.  Actually, he’s a good choice all around.  (Funny, wacky, gigantic geek, etc.)

3. What is the number one thing your love/hate about gay people?
Um, what?  I’m not going to answer this one because (a) bad English and (b) it’s rather bigoted.  To paraphrase Denis Leary:  I don’t judge people by their race or sexual orientation.  I figure I can find something unique to hate in each and every person.

4. If you could legally get married to "the fella" - or any fella - would you?
Sure.  (I have been married to a woman for 17 years.  Does that count?)

5. Have you ever worn short short shorts in public?

Bonus (as in optional): Who is your favorite blogger?
At the moment, Curvaceous Dee.  (Great writing and sexy pictures - what’s not to like?)


Sugasm #134

The best of this week’s blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #135? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form.

This Week’s Picks
Tantra is work and a two way street
“Tantra is hard work and is not all light and orgasmic play.”

“She smiles wantonly, but says nothing.”

“But when you’re really attracted to someone, and part of that attraction is to their dominance, it almost gives you a second wind for pain.”

Mr. Sugasm Himself
Sugar Bank

Editor’s Choice
Discussing a lifestyle event with strangers

Join the Sugasm

See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.

BDSM & Fetish
53 Days
‘Braking’ His Bottom - F/m Spanking Pictures
Careful, You May End Up In My Novel
Cerebral Trainee Subject: Susan Part 2
Dinner at La Domaine - Reality
Dreaming of the Queen
The intricate natures of men and women.
More than a little bratty
Mrs.Kink’s Strap-On Fantasy
r’s naughty thoughts on squirting
Sadistic Moments
Spanking Sex
Venus 2000 / Milking Machine
Vignette of a Real Life Session

Sex Advice
Ask Miss Bliss-My Girlfriend’s Unhappy Without A Female
The Clitoris: A Users guide for submissive men
Faking? Who are you kidding him or yourself?
How To Pick A Dildo
Sex Dream Analysis: The Panty-less Cowgirl
Starting Your Own Sex(y) Blog
What Kind of Sex Do You Like?

Erotic Writing and Experiences
Carpet burns on her knees
The Chocolate Lovers Part 1
First gay, forever gay
Hero Undone
What he remembers…

Sex Work
Sex Workers In The Myths

NSFW Pics, Videos & Audio
Asian MILF gives perfect lickie suckie dickie
Catalina Loves Freckle and Cuff HNT
The Corset That Started It All
Fetish Model Anna Rose In The Perfect Ballet Heel Fetish Picture
I can’t decide
Intimate Moments with Annette Schwarz
Nasty webcam babe bucking like a porn queen
Sexy Little Thing -HNT
Sunny Leone: Showing Off Her Nice Body and Boobs
Victoria Valmer is simply too good to be true
Video: Fresh Out of the Shower

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews
Ava Rose is Carolina Jones
Bondage Threesome With Sara Faye, Amber Rayne, And Device Bondage

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
How to masturbate, v4.0
I am a masturbator
Reading Sex
Sex as sport, part 1
She’s On Top
Skin — Part I

Anna Rose courtesy of Breathplay.

No comments