Starting a FemDom marriage in the Vanilla Kingdom

Archive for the 'Devotion / Assignments' Category

On The Mend

My cock is doing a little better today.  I have been trying to baby it, but there were a few times when the ring snagged on the inside of my boxer briefs as I sat down or stood up and I had to quickly adjust hoping no one was watching.  Tonight during my "soak", I was able to rotate the ring fully in both directions with only a little bit of pain and no bleeding.  Hopefully, I’ll be back in stroking shape in a couple of days.  (As always, I know the stroking will just make me crazy with frustration, but it feels so  good when I’m doing it…)

My new "dump crap in my life that isn’t working" plan got off to an okay start today with one major confrontation.  I stood up to a co-worker who is always trying to get me to do his work.  (His programming kung fu is not strong.)  He tried to rope me into a project today and I told him I would take it on, but only if he did an equal number of my projects that he could do and take me out to lunch.  He agreed, so victory for me!

My wife and I also have been getting along, but nothing has changed in our relationship yet.  Just the fact that we put all of our issues on the table and had a frank discussion has me feeling a little more upbeat, if for no other reason than the dreaded showdown I expected turned out to be a pretty constructive discussion instead.

I’m also missing Mistress Trecia like crazy today.  I’ve been getting used to her popping in all day long to keep tabs on me, but between my frantic schedule at work (trying to catch up on a week’s worth of work) and her vacation, we’ve barley spoken today.

I did get a little ping today as a few co-workers noticed my "slave" pendant and asked what it meant.  I normally tell people that it means "be true to yourself" (since that’s what it means to me), but one wanted to know where I got it because he thought that was a cool idea.  I’m torn on whether to send him the link - part of me wants to "come out" since he’s a cool guy and would probably completely get it, but the other part is afraid to expose myself at work since you can’t un-tell that kind of thing once it’s out.  I may come out to my good friend Josh in the next week or so.  We’re due to hang out and he’s always been a good sounding board, so I’d like to spill everything that’s happened since the start of the year and get some outside perspective.

So, all in all, a pretty vanilla day, but things should be warming up in the near future.

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Lazy Day

Today, I did some much needed decompressing from the week with Mistress.  I just hung around the house, caught up on my sleep, and started the process of clearing a week’s worth of shows off of my TiVo.

I finally caught up with Mistress later in the day from her vacation in Arizona and had the chance to speak with her by phone.  We spent some time talking about our favorite moments from my trip and shared some laughs about some of the sessions.  She then asked me about my piercing.

My cock is pretty sore today, the most it’s been since Sunday, but that just means it’s healing.  Mistress asked if it still worked and I admitted that had a serious case of morning wood when I woke up today.  She laughed and asked if I was a horny little boy.  Yes, Mistress.  She also asked if I had expected to cum a few times during my trip and laughed again when I said yes.  Mistress reminded me that she owns me and that I cum on her schedule.

Mistress then gave me an assignment for tonight.  I was to look at porn for 34 minutes, but no touching.  My cock responded as Mistress intended, but it actually felt pretty good, especially with my new adornment.  Of course, I’m more horny now and am still probably a week away from being able to do any stroking. 

On the good news front, Mistress and I are already planning our next meet, currently set for May 16th.  The bad news is that Mistress said she may keep me from releasing until I’m at her feet again.

I’m back at work tomorrow, bringing my normal life back in full swing.  I know I’m different, though.  My time with Mistress changed me and made me realize what’s really important in my life.  Tomorrow, I’m going to start the process of weeding out things in my life that aren’t working. 

This should be an interesting year.

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Trip - Day Five

Sunday had finally arrived and I was starting to realize that in 24 hours, I’d be heading away from Mistress and our time together and returning to the real world.  I also started thinking about how I can incorporate Mistress Trecia into my daily life.  Should I come out as a sub again to my current friends?  Should I spill all to my wife?  Should I just drop everything and move to Minnesota?

I shut down that line of thinking since I had one more day in the presence of Mistress and didn’t want to spoil it by letting reality intrude.  I did make one decision, though - I would fight for Mistress.  I would do everything I could to keep Mistress in my life and hold onto this relationship that means so much to me.  Therefore, I decided to follow through with a promise I made a month prior.

Mistress and I were discussing "marks", ways that she would like to claim her new property (me).  I have a daily collar (a leather string with the Chinese symbol for "slave" dangling from it) that Mistress gave me for my birthday, but after that we began discussing other more permanent markings including tattoos and brandings.

Eventually, we settled on a Prince Albert piercing for a number of reasons.  First, it’s something I’ve always wanted.  The PA means that I’d be able to wear a wand, something the urethral play lover in me wants.  Next, it opens the door to some really creative chastity device solutions, something that Mistress has been wanting to use with me but other devices we’ve tried just weren’t practical for 24/7 use.  Finally, it was a way for Mistress to physically claim me as her own.

We both asked around and looked on-line before deciding on Saint Sabrina’s, a place that has an excellent reputation and is very D/s friendly.  (I asked if Mistress could be present and take pictures and they didn’t even flinch.)

Sunday morning, as I pondered what I was about to do, I knew that this piercing was not something to be taken lightly.  This was a property marking from Mistress and, therefore, was something sacred and not to be done on a whim.  This was a symbol of my commitment to our continued relationship and my devotion to her.  This was not just me finding an excuse for something I already wanted, the gravity and meaning of the act was extremely important to me.

Mistress called and we discussed the day to come.  We didn’t have enough time for another scene, so she asked if I could load up all of her new toys and bring them to her house after which we’d head out for our appointment.  I pulled my truck around to the fire exit door and brought a few loads of the more conspicuous stuff down the stairs, then got a luggage cart to carry the rest.  About an hour later, I had everything unloaded in Mistress’s garage and then we set off for downtown.

Our first stop was Smitten Kitten, a sex toy shop in the Uptown district.  The store is woman owned and operated and has a reputation for being an advocate against "toxic toys" from manufacturers who don’t care about the health of their customers.  The manager remembered Mistress and agreed to be interviewed for her podcast! 

After that, we headed straight over to Saint Sabrina’s.  The place was just immaculate and the staff was very friendly and disarming.  (I was really  nervous by then, wanting to get the piercing but dreading the process.)  We got our paperwork out of the way and started to look at jewelry.  I wanted a heavier gauge and a circular barbell (thinking it would be less likely to get snagged on things during the healing process) and we settled on a nice 6 gauge.

Mistress, realizing that I was starting to get even more nervous, decided to give me a little nudge into subspace and asked the clerk if the 6 gauge would work well with chastity devices, knowing the embarrassment and reminder of why I was there would help me relax.  (It did, too!)  To his credit, the guy didn’t even skip a beat and asked if we had a particular style in mind or if we were having it custom made.  I mentioned - he hadn’t heard of them but did say that 6 gauge was pretty typical for that application.  Mistress then noticed the colored barbell ends and asked if they had purple available for my piercing.  I blushed again, realizing just how much Mistress owns me now.

A few minutes later, we met Jamie who would be doing my actual piercing.  He gladly consented to have Mistress present and also to video the process.  After just a short wait, he led us upstairs to one of their piercing rooms.  The room looked nicer and cleaner than my doctor’s office with a big medical table in the middle of the room covered with paper which I was asked to lay on after dropping my pants.

Jamie said that using such a large gauge piercing was really dependent on the size of my urethra.  Mistress and I looked at each other and laughed, having just tested that very thing earlier in the week.  (Jamie tried the receiving tube that the needle goes into and said that there was more than enough room to which Mistress said, "You’re Welcome".)

Using a mirror, Jamie showed me the marking he had made for where the piercing would go in.  He also pointed out a circumcision scar I never realized I had.  Then, the moment of truth.

I laid back and could hear Jamie working and saw Mistress with her video camera just off to my left.  I then felt the tube slide up inside my cock, followed by a sharp pinching sensation just under my cock head.  I hissed my breath through my teeth, waiting for the serious pain to hit.  I then felt a pop and the pain disappeared, followed by strange sensation of something sliding into my cock from underneath.  After another brief uncomfortable feeling (which turned out to be Jamie sliding in the jewelry), it was over.

I clearly didn’t know what to expect, but it wasn’t anywhere nearly as bad as I imagined.  Of course, we’ve established that I’m a gigantic pain slut and that I’m completely unaware of the depths of my tolerances, so I guess this is pretty par for the course.

Jamie posed with me for a picture and then he asked if I’d come back when it had healed so he could get a picture for his portfolio.  Honored, I told him I planned to return as soon as I could and would give him a call.  He then gave me all of the aftercare instructions (soak twice a day in salt water, no sex for 3-4 days, wear a condom until it’s completely healed) and sent us on our way.

I love the way the piercing looks and it will be a fun toy once its healed.  (Mistress has been telling me some of the ideas she has to torture me with it, including but not limited to hooking a leash to it and leading me around.)  The full video of the procedure will be available in Mistress’s Parlor in the very near future.  (I’ll post a link once it’s up.)

Mistress and I left and went out to dinner.  I was high as a kite from the endorphins and feeling incredibly connected to Mistress at that moment.  After the week, it felt good to go out to a nice dinner and just sit across a table from Mistress and giggle and flirt and enjoy ourselves, comfortable in our roles.  Once we were done with dinner, we headed back to her house where we spent some time with her husband and just had a good time, talking, eating, and playing some Guitar Hero II.

At 4 a.m., they finally kicked me out (since Mistress had to be up at 5 a.m. to fly out for a family trip) and I bid farewell to Mistress.  She handed me a sack lunch she had prepared for me (a yummy meatloaf sandwich) and gave me a big hug, telling me to IM her in the morning to let me know how the piercing was doing and to call as soon as I got home.

I went back to the hotel, did my first penis soak, and crashed out as soon as my head hit the pillow.

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With each day that passes, I’m getting more and more frustrated and horny. 

Today, all I can think about is sex and if I’m going to get a chance to stroke tonight.  Each time Mistress Trecia actually lets me stroke is a mixed blessing.  I accept the temporary relief that contact brings, slick hand gliding over my cock, a little mind trickery to tell my body to relax.  ("No, really - we’re going to cum this time.")  It doesn’t take long before that short moment is gone and I’m frantically stroking, edging time and again trying to get back that little bit of relief only to drive myself to new heights of frustration.

Last night, I kept up the cycle again.  My assignment was short and wonderful (put the mousetraps on my nipples and masturbate to the "stroke time" audio), but Mistress added the "gift" of being able to stroke myself to sleep.  And there I was, lying in bed after my assignment, Mistress’s audio stories streaming into my ear, my cock rock hard and dripping pre-cum down my balls onto the bed as I stroked and stroked and stroked, desperate for relief that was never going to arrive.  I finally had to lay on my hands to stop touching myself in an effort to find some rest, the time between filled with my cock bobbing in the air and me trying to gather the last tatters of willpower left in my system.

I don’t know why this time is so much more difficult than the others.  I’m trying to center myself and find a way to prepare for the seemingly (and possible) infinite time before I am allowed to release, but I end up in this self-perpetuating behavior that is starting to drive me mad.

Of course, Mistress is doing everything she can to enhance and prolong my suffering.  She grants me "free time" to stroke as a reward for my work, knowing full well that I’m just going to tease myself into a frenzy of denial, shame, and frustration.  She also delights in telling me little tidbits to keep me off balance, her latest from yesterday was to remind me that she may not even let me cum during my visit!

What’s even more frustrating is that the situation is perfectly escapable.  The logical (and devious) part of my brain tells me to just cum already.  I’m not locked into some chastity device, my willpower superseded by layers of leather, plastic, or stainless steel.  I’m free to cum at any time.  "Come on," that little voice says, "Two more strokes and you’re there.  Who’s going to know?"

But this is what I’ve become now.  My cock is no longer my own, my free will has been given away, and Mistress holds them both in her grasp.

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One Week

My "livespace" meeting with Mistress Trecia is one week from today.  (Almost exactly - right around now is when I can check into the hotel next Wednesday.)  I’m starting to get nervous again.

Mistress told me today that she expects to have 10 new videos for her Parlor (members’ area) by the time I leave and then asked "By the way, how do you feel about outdoor bondage?"  I know now that Mistress has all sorts of things in store for me, beyond what I’ve been imagining in my head.  I trust her completely, but there is a little voice inside me wondering what lies in store.

I’m also getting hornier by the day as my state of denial is leaving me incredibly frustrated and aching for release.  I’ve also started to subconsciously do the things that I used to do when I was horny, things like surf porn, daydream about attractive women I see on the street or in the office, and so on.  Of course, these things just perpetuate the cycle.

Last night, Mistress gave me some latitude, saying that I could do whatever I wanted as long as I didn’t cum and was in some sort of pain while I did it.  I told her I planned to put mousetraps on my nipples while I stroked for a while.  She asked if I enjoyed the traps and, after saying "yes", she laughed at me and called me her little pain slut.  (She knew what the answer was before she asked and knows that I’ve been embracing the fact that pain turns me on.)

Naked and with the mousetraps clipped into place, I started surfing some porn sites and stroking, hitting the edge again and again, but still just stroking away in a desperate attempt to take the edge off my frustration.  The next time I glanced at the clock, I realized that I had been at this for 90 minutes and forced myself to stop.  It took me another hour to fall asleep, with visions of naked women dancing in my head and my cock throbbing wanting the one thing I couldn’t give it.

I awoke this morning with the granddaddy of all morning wood and PJ bottoms that were soaked with pre-cum.  Simply washing myself in the shower was a painful experience as every ounce of me screamed out to just "wash" a little more, wanting to cum so incredibly badly.  I can’t even do something so mundane without a aching reminder that my cock no longer belongs to me.

While my resolve is strong, the battle between my need to obey Mistress and my physical needs is taxing all of the willpower I can muster. 

This is going to a long  week…

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Climbing the Walls

As my "days without release" counter over on the right keeps going higher and higher, I’m getting more and more horny and fully aroused at the drop of a hat.  I spent much of yesterday working for Mistress Trecia (site updates, writing a couple of erotic audio story scripts, and so on) and also caught up on my erotic blog reading.  Needless to say, I was aching badly by the time I got home.

I confessed to Mistress that I was feeling desperate, but did not ask for stroke time.  With Mistress’s "no touching" rule, she has been letting me ask for permission to stroke to help ease the frustration.  Lately, however, it’s just making things worse as I edge time and time again with no release.  (This, of course, is all part of her master plan to make me as horny as possible for my visit next week.)  I even told her that I considered a little non-sanctioned stroking, willingly trading the three-cane-swat penalty for a little relief.

After a little taunting for my poor, pathetic state, Mistress gave me an extended assignment.

First, I was to stroke for 15 minutes, then write another audio script for her.  The first few minutes felt like sweet relief and the stroking helped to soften my arousal somewhat.  Ten minutes later, however, I was riding the edge of orgasm and feeling my frustration level climb to new heights.  At 15 minutes to the second, I stopped stroking feeling worse than when I started.  I returned to my laptop and finished a script called "Stroke For Me" about a boy stroking in front of Mistress, forced to hold out for an hour, with a cool little twist ending.  (The audio file will be in the next Parlor update, so no spoilers!)

Next, Mistress told me to stroke to the "stroke time" audio file.  While that file was a source of frustration for me, it now is a source for some fear since my previous encounter with it was my first failure for Mistress.  I managed to hold out this time, but just barely.  My already aroused state was just further provoked by Mistress’s taunting voice and that damned metronome.  "Up…down…up…down"  *shudder *   I was to then write yet another script and I created one called "Inspection" about a Mistress getting her boy ready for a public play party.

Then ,  I was to bury my face in one of Mistress’s used panty scraps (courtesy of the "goody bag") and stroke to the "Glass Tease" audio.  It’s my favorite of Mistress’s audio files and also the most potent.  (It’s just her vocally pleasuring herself with her glass dildo.)  I hit the edge almost immediately and spent the entire 5 minute running time of the clip fighting off orgasm.

My final task was to slip on a pair of Mistress’s panties and go to bed.  I wore the leopard print ones because I love how silky they are and how nice they feel on my shaved balls.  Of course, frustrated and denied, my cock just begged  to be stroked through the satin and I once again found myself weighing relief now with punishment later.  (If my tally wasn’t already up to nine swats, I might have actually chosen that.)

I have been seriously trying to buckle down for the long haul knowing my current denial will continue for some time.  (I meet Mistress next Wednesday, so I have at least  another week before I will be allowed any release.  Knowing Mistress’s wickedness, I wouldn’t be surprised if she makes me wait for a couple of days while I’m there just to revel in my suffering.)  It hasn’t been easy, however, because Mistress does everything she can to throw me off guard and prevent me from digging in.

As much as I’m suffering now, I know the payoff will be worth it.  When I’m finally allowed to cum, the orgasm is going to be fantastic and will be my first while physically at Mistress’s feet. 

I just have to hold out for a week. 

Or more.

And be ready to beg. 



Better Built Bondage

My angst from yesterday has dulled significantly, thanks especially to my assignment from last night. There was something about focusing on Mistress Trecia, listening to her voice, and stroking for 21 minutes that helped to center me again.

Today, I went completely into project mode and spent the day woodworking for Mistress. I’ve been building a few pieces for her as a gift and am frantically trying to get them done before I leave in 10 days. (What seemed like an eternity has flown by and I’m facing the long list of things that still need to be done before I go.)

Two of the pieces I’m building came from an excellent book I discovered on-line - The Better Built Bondage Book (abbreviated as TBBBB from here on out). I’ve picked up a couple of other BDSM project books (including the underwhelming "Kinkycrafts"), but TBBBB not only has a huge variety of excellent projects (everything from a full-sized St. Andrew’s Cross to cuffs and floggers) but has incredibly well documented instructions and blueprints for each item.

I’ve also been really impressed with the engineering of the pieces themselves. The St. Andrew’s Cross, for example, folds neatly for storage and comes with a long list of the author’s design decisions (why he chose certain design elements over others) which gives a great insight into the thought and care that went into each item in the book.

If you have always wanted the large-scale, big ticket BDSM toys and furniture but didn’t have the budget or permanent play space, you should check out TBBBB. Their site has pictures of a bunch of the finished items and sample pages so you can preview the format of the pages.

I will have a Flickr set of the pieces when I get them done and (with her permission) one of Mistress receiving her gifts as well. I honestly can’t believe my visit is 10 days away!

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Last night, I asked for my assignment from Mistress Trecia as usual.  While some are groan inducing because I know they are going to be difficult and/or painful, last night I actually freaked out a little bit.

"How about some good ole fashioned cock bondage?  Tie it up, put the clips and traps on, and snap a pic (which you’ll use on your blog).  After you snap the pic, you may remove the clampy things, then rub a bit while listening to 3 audios.  Then untie and get into bed.  You may stroke all you want once in bed, but no cumming."

The bottom of my stomach dropped out and my heart skipped a beat as I read "and snap a pic ".  Pictures?  Of me?  Naked?  On my blog?  (Cut to old time cartoon guy biting his fingernails like a typewriter.)

While this might seem like a lot to ask on the surface, it’s actually not that unreasonable.  Mistress has already told me that she’s taking me to a public play party when I’m there for my visit and I’ve agreed to have my sessions with her photographed and videotaped (including when I get my piercing done), so this fear is something that I need to start facing right away.

The main issue for me is my weight.  I’m extremely  self-conscious about how I look naked.  During my normal day, I never get bogged down by it or think twice about it, but every time I get undressed I get a little twinge of embarrassment.  My current size is a direct result of my crystal meth addiction, something that is doubly shaming now that I’ve put just over nine years between me and that time in my life.  Because of all this, I was terrified at the sudden realization of what agreeing to be naked on the Internet (and in public) really meant.

Mistress did give me an out with a chance to trade chaste days or cane swats for the picture, but in the spirit of "put up or shut up", I did the assignment and you can see the results below.  (Just to make things even more public, I’m posting the pictures directly from Flickr just like the ones from my other articles.)  While I was originally just going to include the two closeups of my bound cock and tortured nipples, I knew that posting a full-frontal shot was actually more in line with the spirit of the assignment.

In the end, actually taking  the pictures was more of a personal challenge than posting them.  I bound myself per Mistress’s instructions and then decided to put two hair clips on my balls and the mousetraps on my nipples.  The hair clips have these little spiky teeth that just dug into the soft skin of my scrotum and started to sting as I fumbled with the camera.  (I had to find the timed shot setting and set it up in such a way that I would be in focus and properly exposed [no pun intended].)    Once that was sorted out, I had to make sure my cock stayed at least partially erect through the increasing pain of the clips and my severe case of nerves.  (As long as I was going to do this, I wanted to look my best!)

Once the pictures were snapped, I removed the clips from my balls (taking them off stung even more - ow!), but I left the mousetraps in place.  (Now that I’ve embraced my status as a painslut, I don’t mind telling you that love the little tweaks of pain I get as they bob in the air when I’m stroking.  Mmmmm…)  I then selected my three audio files:  Careful (Mistress rides a dildo strapped to your thigh and you can only watch [I wrote the script for this one and love how it turned out]), Cuckold Honeymoon (about the bride who figures that, since you’ve been waiting five years for our wedding day, why not wait a little longer?), and Foot Fuck (Mistress treats a special boy by wrapping her slick feet around his cock).

Before I started, however, I popped the camera’s memory stick into my laptop and sent all of the pictures to Mistress to let her know I was going through with the assignment.  I was actually pretty happy with how they turned out and got a rush knowing that they would soon be out there for the world to see.  That done, I hit "Play" on my MP3 player and started to stroke.  With my newfound excitement brewing, I was riding the edge through almost all of the stroking session and, taking advantage of Mistress’s generosity, I edged again a few more times once I was lying in bed.

One of my last thoughts before drifting off was how wonderful it is that Mistress understands me and is able to find personal boundaries that we can break down together.  Now that the pictures below are out there, I’m actually feeling more comfortable with my body and most of my nervousness at being her public play puppy has faded into excitement toward the events to come.

Big and Exposed Sexy Ties Trapped

Zapped 2: Electric Boogaloo

Last night, Mistress Trecia once again introduced electrical play into my nightly assignment.  As I said in my last post on the subject, e-stim has always been a really mixed bag for me and there’s only ever been a handful of truly mindblowing experiences.  Mistress managed to add a new one with this assignment.

it sounded pretty simple (as all her assignments do):  Hook up the PES power box using an anal electrode of my choosing, lock myself into my chastity cage, and listen to two specific audio files (the "Mindfuck Freakout" and my new favorite, the glass dildo tease which is basically just Mistress having a loud, throaty orgasm).  I was then to turn off the PES and stroke myself to the edge.

E-stim requires two electrodes to make contact, so in addition to my prostate electrode I needed one other.  I selected a flexible conductive catheter and decided to attach it to the main part of the chastity cage.  The cage would ensure the catheter would stay in place and maintain a constant conductive point.  I like the catheter because it’s pretty long (when fully inserted, it goes beyond the inside of my cock into my body) so while I get a nice buzz inside my cock, the majority of the juice is transferred to my prostrate.  With the right settings, the muscles in that area squeeze and release my prostrate for an amazing sensation.

I fired up the PES and started the audio files, but it didn’t take long for me to notice that I was on the verge of something special.  In my past usage of the catheter, it was difficult to keep inside in a static point which meant my cock never really got in on the fun.  (The sliding around would cause the sensations to change making getting off almost impossible, no matter how good the anal massage felt.) 

With the cock cage firmly keeping the electrode in place, I had this amazing vibrating sensation down the entire center of my cock which quickly started to feel really  good.  Because the catheter was held in place fully inserted, I also felt the strongest prostrate massage I’ve ever experienced.  The two sensations together started making me incredibly aroused and my cock quickly filled the boundaries cage begging for release.

As the second audio file started to wrap up, I really wanted to keep going.  I was nicely warmed up (read horny as hell and throbbing and well on my way to the dreadful edge), but I still wasn’t anywhere near orgasm territory.  I did feel, however, that the configuration could have easily led to a coveted hands-free orgasm (not that I would have let it happen, but after chasing it for so long this was a real "eureka" moment for me).

I managed to shove aside the desire to keep the power on and see where things went and followed Mistress’s additional instructions.  When I unlocked the cock cage, I noticed that it was dripping with precum.  (In fact, when I pulled the main portion of the cage away from my body, a single long gooey string connected the cage to the tip of my cock.) 

I didn’t need any lube to finish the assignment, kneeling at the side of the bed and pushing myself to the edge with few too many strokes.  My speed at hitting the edge of orgasm was enhanced by the vivid fantasy I had at that moment of Mistress behind me fucking my ass with a dildo with one hand while pulling my head back with a fistful of my hair, her voice taunting me to take it and cum for her.

After I managed to catch my breath for a minute, I put away my toys and climbed into bed, falling into a sound sleep with thoughts of Mistress watching over me.

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Assignment Catch-up & Gomourto

The assignments for the last two nights have been rather interesting and have shown me just how little control I now have over my own cock.  Mistress Trecia’s devious assignments keep me so off kilter that any hope of being able to prepare myself for the trials of a given week are completely lost.

On Monday, Mistress had me listen two the stroke time audio twice, the first time just listening and the other stroking to the beat.  Last night, she told me to drop what I was doing and to look at porn or listen to sexy audio files and stroke until I went to bed.  (Once in bed, I was to use the Aneros for 15 minutes.)

Both of these assignments shouldn’t be that big a deal given my recent experiences, but my body was so overstimulated by the massive forced masturbation on Friday that any tolerance to edge play from previous weeks was completely lost.  During last night’s assignment, I hit the edge over and over again (I stopped counting at eight).  Each near orgasm took less and less time to achieve until only a few strokes sent me from start to ultimate frustration.

I still become shocked at how little I know about my own body and how much Mistress is able to push and pull my own physical drives to suit her will from so far away.  I could understand if I was strapped to a table, expertly teased with her marvelous toys and skilled hands.  To have such a dramatic physical reaction to that would be perfectly natural.  But to have that kind of effect at my own hand driven only by her typed words is still a little unreal to me.

In addition to feeling completely vulnerable to the lack of control over my own sex drive, the stroking assignments from the past couple of days have put me into an incredibly horny state and thoughts of Mistress and daydreams about our upcoming time together have been pinging around in my head all day. 

Day after tomorrow, Mistress said to plan for a regular on cam session.  It’s been awhile since we’ve had one and, given the recent events, I’m a little nervous about what she has in store for me.

Finally, I’d like to give a quick shout out to the blog Gomourto’s Erotic Ramblings.  Burt posted a really fantastic article about this site and my writings here and I wanted to return the favor.  His site is about his sexual encounters and explorations with his wife and his thoughts on sexuality in general.  From someone who is going through the process of trying reinvent a sex life with his wife of 16 years, I’ve really enjoyed getting an inside view into another couple’s private moments and thoughts.  Plus, you can’t go wrong with folks who play strip Carcassonne!

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