Starting a FemDom marriage in the Vanilla Kingdom

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TMI Tuesday #94

From the home office in Wahoo, Nebraska, it’s TMI Tuesday!

1. Toilet paper: over, under, or what the hell are you talking about?

Over, you heathen! (It amuses me that people get so uptight about this one. Fortunately, this is one of the many household things MJ and I agree on…)

2. Toilet when you are done: everything up, seat down but lid up, everything down?

Everything down. That’s the "closed" position. It also keeps my one cat who is obsessed with the toilet from trying to swim…

3. When was the last time you kissed someone not your significant other? [I am talking about a kiss with some gusto not just a little hello or goodbye peck]

It’s been over 9 years, back when MJ and I were separated.

4. Would you rather have you significant other (this can be a hypothetical SO) have sex with someone else or fall in love with someone else? [You have to pick one.]

Sex, by far. I’ve always been open in my attitudes toward sex (but remain monogamous per MJ’s wishes), so that wouldn’t bother me. The same goes for BDSM play in my mind (something MJ and I disagree on). Falling in love with someone else would be tough to deal with, however…

5. If you had $1,000,000 to give away, how would you divide it up? Who and how much?

I’d refrain from giving any to family - that would be too tough. Who to give how much? There would also be a lot of bad feelings from those that were left out. I’d probably just give the whole amount to Child’s Play.

Bonus (as in optional): Tell us something that very few people know about you.

I was a professional singer when I was a kid. I sang with a nationally-known group and recorded two albums and a bunch of singles (but nothing you have ever heard - trust me). Once I finally get around to guitar lessons, I would like to hit the coffee shop circuit here in Chicago as one of those annoying singer/songwriters who make it hard to talk in coffee shops.


TMI Tuesday #93

Another week, another TMI Tuesday!

1. Leather, lace or silk?

Leather, both for looking and wearing. I love the feel of silk, but there is a whole girly headspace that goes with wearing it. (That, of course, can be interesting if so ordered by a Domme…)

2. Do you subscribe to (or regularly buy) any "dirty" magazines? Which ones?

I really hate to pay for porn, so I typically just grab what’s available for free either on the Web or Usenet. Despite that, I’ve lately been buying old magazines from eBay that feature Melanie Anton. (She’s always been my favorite BBW model and there are several of her spreads that aren’t available electronically, so I decided to try and get a complete set of everything she’s ever appeared in both print and video.)

Before the web was my personal porn pipeline, I used to buy "Plumpers & Big Women" pretty regularly.

3. Have you ever had sex in water (tub/pool/lake/ocean)?

Yes - in a bath, hot tub, and pool. I love the feeling of water-slicked skin.

4. The three words that best describe you in bed are ____, ____, and ____. Three words that best describe your most recent partner in bed are ____, ____, and ____.

Wow - this is a really hard one! For me, probably adventurous, willing, and begging. (MJ makes me ask for permission to cum, and it usually ends up as begging as I get close to the edge.) For MJ, I’d say strong, sexy, and wonderful!

5. Did you lose your virginity as an impetuous youth, "to prove that you loved" him/her, because of a romantic gesture, a newly wed or other (please describe because I can’t think of what an "other" might be)?

Romantic gesture, but also because I was a horny teenager!

Bonus (as in optional): Name three words that:
a) get you excited

boy, strip, kneel

b) make you squirm

sorry, nigger, cunt

c) make you laugh

giggle, arcade, baby


TMI Tuesday #91

It’s TMI Tuesday!

1. Who was your childhood hero?

Thomas Edison. The guy was a complete dick (I didn’t realize that at the time), but he understood the "big picture" better than anyone. Let’s say you invent a light bulb. What then? Well - build a power plant, develop a system for running power lines to everyone’s house, set up switches and outlets in the house, and then create nice lamps for the bulbs. His invention factory is also responsible for starting both the recorded music and motion picture industry. Not too shabby…

2. Have you ever had sex with someone who has a myspace page?

No. MySpace came along long after I was spoken for. My recent straying didn’t include sex, but my previous Mistress did indeed have a MySpace page (created by me, no less).

3. What fantasies have you openly told your partner about?

Just scroll down! My single biggest fantasy (which I still haven’t fulfilled) is my milking machine fantasy. Being restrained and forced to submit to the unbending demands of a machine is something that has been rattling around in my brain since I first had sexual thoughts. Hopefully MJ will help me live this one out…

4. Have you ever said you love someone but didn’t mean it?

Yes. I used to be a serious dick once upon a time and would say anything to bed a girl I was interested in. Nowadays, I take matters of the heart way more seriously. (I have MJ to thank for that…)

5. Have you ever woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you?

Wait - why would I stay the night? (Just kidding!) I’ve never not remembered a sexual partner come the next day. Do you count moving into a Navy barracks in the middle of the night?

Bonus (as in optional): Do you remember a time when you were having sex that you smile or even laugh about now? Do tell….

A few weeks ago, I fell out of bed during a rather aggressive sexual encounter. MJ was near the edge of the bed and when I got the command to pleasure her, I wound up sliding right onto the floor.


TMI Tuesday #90

Time again for a (very belated) TMI Tuesday!

1. Describe your first kiss.

My first kiss was way back in preschool. My "girlfriend’s" name was Deanna and we got in trouble for making our during circle time. I actually remember her really well (we stayed a "thing" until her family moved away in second grade), but don’t remember that specific event. (My mother, OTOH, loves to bring it up…)

2. Should a person’s pubic hair be trimmed, shaved, or just grown out as the jungle God intended it to be?

At the very least trimmed unless you’re blessed with naturally tame pubes. Mine is shaved by order of MJ.

3. What’s the best super-hero comic book movie ever made?

"Batman Begins", hands down.  Christian Bale perfectly captures Batman’s bipolar nature (suave playboy by day, vengeance-thirsty crusader by night) and the back story of Batman’s birth from pain is wonderfully told.  Add the frosting of Michael Caine as Alfred the butler, Morgan Freeman as Lucius Fox (the man with all those wonderful gadgets), and Gary Oldman as a young not-yet-Commissioner Gordon and it is just one treat after another.

4. Coke or Pepsi?

Diet Coke or Diet Pepsi "Carmel & Cream" Jazz. I really miss Mountain Dew, but each one of those things is practically equal to one of my meals.  Now that I’m getting naked in public at The Club, MJ wants me to look my best.  (I’ve actually shed about 60 pounds since the beginning of the year.)

5. Have you ever been caught masturbating?

A few times, most recently by my wife. (Of course, I can’t touch without permission any more, so there’s nothing to get caught at.)

6. Which way do you lean your head when going for a kiss?

To the right. Interesting question - it’s something so natural that you don’t even think about it. (I dress to the left - I wonder if there is a correllation there…)

7. Jockstraps, sexy or no?

They feel sexy to wear and MJ likes how I look in them, so I say "Sexy".

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever used the excuse, "Oh, I was so drunk that night, I don’t remember a THING!"

A few times, especially back in my hardcore swinger party days. The funny thing is that I didn’t really drink that much, but everyone else was indulging so heavily that I could use that excuse because no one else remembered!

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TMI Tuesday #89

Happy (very belated) TMI Tuesday!

1. Does the carpet match the drapes?

Well, my head has hair and the junk don’t, so no. (I actually love the feeling of being bare "down there" and consider that a perk of being a kept sub.)

2. Have you ever used personal information about someone to blackmail them?

I indirectly helped my boss get his budget approved. One of the higher-ups was shopping for escorts from his office PC. Oops!

3. What is your favorite thing to lick?

Nipples. I love the way they get hard as you tease them.

4. Have you ever had sex in a place of worship? (i.e., church, temple, mosque, etc.)

No. I once did a piano performance in a church only to have it burn down the next day. Coincidence or a critique from God? Hmm…

5. If you watch video porn, do you buy it in a store, from a catalog, online, or download it? LINK!!! ;)

I used to buy a lot of magazines and tapes (then DVDs), but now just download. My favorite site at the moment is PureTnA.

Bonus (as in optional): How often, if ever, do you "fake it?"

There’s been two times in my life where I’ve faked it. The first was when I was hopped up on Zoloft which made it tough to cum. The other time was when I was saving up for my Domme at the time when having sex with my Wife. (I know, I know. Fortunately, my Wife and Domme are one and the same now, so it only happens on her command now…)

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TMI Tuesday #88

Another week, another TMI Tuesday!

1. If you were to face the Wizard of Oz, would you want more courage, more brains, or more heart?

More brains. You can never have too many of those.

2. Have you ever gone to court for anything? What for?

Mainly just for speeding tickets. I did have to testify against my Scoutmaster in a molestation case. Boy, was that fun. Despite him being completely guilty of multiple counts and the ensuing witch hunt destroying all of my friendships at the time, the verdict was reversed on appeal. I wasn’t technically a "victim" because I was 16 and consented. (The law was different in Illinois back then.) The DA put me on the stand anyway to prove a pattern, but the court thought it was too prejudicial.

The process of being chewed up by the legal process that was supposed to protect me fucked me up way more than the act itself. (The best was being forced to call the police from my counselor’s office and then having two detectives show up at my work and take me away for questioning without my parents being present.)

3. What was the last thing you did that you previously told yourself you wouldn’t do?

Fall too hard for a Domme.

4 Did you ever have a summer fling while on vacation?

No, but it looks like a cool thing to do if all those 80’s movies can be believed. Of course, you’d also have to take on the local rich guy to save the local hangout teaching everyone a valuable lesson about acceptance, so it’s probably way more trouble than it’s worth.

5. Have you ever done anything sexual with someone who’s name you never knew?

First name, no. Last name, yes.

Bonus (as in optional): What is the best way to mend a broken heart?

Time. And revenge…


TMI Tuesday #87

Another week, another TMI Tuesday!

1. What is the meanest thing you’ve ever done/said to a lover/loved one?

I’ve had a few periods in my life where I was a serious asshole, so I have a few to choose from. Probably the worst was with MJ when we decided to try swinging and She decided not to go through with, so I took Her home and returned to the party. Yeah - I know. The full story is here.

2. Have you ever had sex on an elevator?

Never sex, but I have petted and made out on one.

3. Have you ever lied about a rash and said it was a birthmark? OR Have you ever lied about a birthmark and said it was a rash?

I have a scar I lied about. I used to tell girls that I got it in a knife fight. (I actually got it as a kid working on a craft project when my box cutter slipped. Ow.)

4. Have you ever had sex on a beach or in the water at a beach/pool?

A few times in a hot tub. I’ve been naked with others in a pool, but no sex.

5. How old are you? How old do you feel? =P

37, but feel more like 28ish. My hair and beard have just started to gray a little, so I’m getting a dose of reality in this department.

6. Have you or your partner been injured so badly during sex that you/they had to go to the hospital?

Not yet, but we’re trying. :)

7. Have you been to a strip club or "titty bar"? (Hooters does NOT count.) If so, did you get a lap dance?

Yes and yes. I haven’t been in a long time because I don’t see the point. (I’d rather spend the money on good porn or memberships to places like Galleria Domain where you can actually see/get some action. The "sit on your hands and watch me" thing just isn’t worth the cash. Now back in California, they had adult book stores with "nudie booths" which were much more interesting. Because of the glass, the girls could go as far as they wanted and that type of voyeur action (usually two-way since you got to participate "single-handedly") was much more my speed. Still not cheap, but lots of fun.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had a "blog crush" (i.e., a crush on someone, of whatever gender, that you haven’t met in person but only know through their blog)? Who? (Link, please, if you dare!) =P

I don’t know if it’s a crush (more like a BILF [Blogger I’d Like to Fuck]), but I really admire Curvaceous Dee. She’s articulate, intelligent, kinky, and a sexy BBW. How could any one resist that combination? (In fact, I love MJ for the same reasons.)


TMI Tuesday #86

Here are this week’s answers for TMI Tuesday:

1. Should guys wear pink?

Yes, if you just stepped out of a time machine from 1984. (Actually, some guys can still almost pull it off, but the last guy to really own bright pink was Don Johnson.)

2. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed?

Closed. I’m all about the sensations and not the sight. I really only like to watch when I’m not physically involved.

3. What is the first "non-physical" feature you tend to notice about a person you find attractive?

Brains. I will actually no longer find someone attractive if they open their mouth and prove themselves to be lacking in intelligence. (Case in point: Gillian Anderson. I saw her on the Tonight Show and she came off like a giggling idiot. My Scully fantasies stopped at that moment…

4. Have you ever showered with someone of the opposite sex?

Yes, both in the normal "boys in the gym" scenario and in a sexual setting.

5. Would you rather receive amazing oral sex or have amazing sex?

I actually don’t get a lot of pleasure out of oral sex, so for me a night of amazing sex would be much preferred.

Bonus (as in optional): If you could say anything you wanted anonymously to anyone, without identifying that person, what would you say?

I’m sorry I didn’t understand what you were trying to say until it was too late. It’s probably just as well - I didn’t feel the same way about you.


TMI Tuesday #85

Happy TMI Tuesday!

1. When you orgasm, do you hold your breath?

No. I’m pretty vocal, so there is a lot of panting and moaning.

2. Have you ever had sex or played around with a celebrity?

Never, but would have loved to run into Melanie Anton during her modeling career or Sara Rue in her Gypsy 83 days.

3. Do you think prostitution should be legal? Why or why not?

Yes. If it’s legal and regulated, you cut down on women forced into the trade and also ensure that those practicing are healthier with regular screenings for disease. There are women who are pushed into prostitution every year, something I’m against. But if a woman wants to have sex for money and guys want to pay for it, I don’t see any problem with that.

4. How do you masturbate? Do you romance yourself? Get straight to the point? Read erotic material?

No romance, get straight to it. I usually like to partake in some sort of erotic material like podcasts, videos, pictures, or stories.

5. Which gives you the most pleasure - intercourse, masturbating for/with your partner, being masturbated by your partner.

Masturbated by partner. I’m all about the power exchange and having another person push you past the "point of no return" is one of the hottest things around.

Bonus (as in optional): Have you ever had a crush on a relative?

No. My relatives aren’t that hot…


TMI Tuesday #83

Here are this week’s answers for Too Much Information Tuesday:

1. Have you ever used foods in your sexual activities (ie; whipped cream, syrup, popsicles) and how did you use them?

I have, but I typically only do it for Jaci’s sake. (She’s into "messy" sex, I’m not.) We’ve used everything from whipped cream and chocolate sauce to warm marinara. Basically, apply food to the naughty bits and then lick and nibble it off. (Bon appetite!)

2. If your SO asked you to get them off using only your toes - would you do it and how?

I would! The best would probably be to lie down feet to feet and then slide forward, putting my big toe against her clit and positioning my heel so she could grind into it while I flicked and teased her.

3. Would you ever participate in an orgy? Have you?

Probably not any more, but I have in the past. My favorite took place in the hot tub at a swingers party. There were 5 of us - one married couple (Dave and Debbie), a lesbian (Jen), a bi woman (Marci), and me. We started with the Jen in the center with Dave sucking one of her breasts, Debbie sucking the other, Marci stroking her clit, and me sucking on her toes. We ended up in all sorts of interesting combinations after that…

4. What can a lover do to turn you on instantly?

Order me to strip or little pushes into embarassed subspace. (Things like sending me into a saddlery to pick up a riding crop.) Kisses and nibbles to the neck also have a pretty immediate effect.

5. Describe your favorite piece of lingerie or undergarments on yourself or your mate. (PICS PLEASE!!!)

On women, I prefer trashy lingere (think Fredrick’s of Hollywood versus Victoria’s Secret). Of course, anything that shows off their own personal beauty (accentuating their best features, whether it’s their breasts, belly, legs, or whatever) works for me.

On me, I love leather and feeling confined, so harneses are a big turn-on.

Bonus (as in optional): Describe the best orgasm you’ve ever had. ;)

I gave this a lot of thought, but I have to say the one I had earlier this week. There were others that were close, but that one tops them all.


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