sub-burbs

Late last night I was IMing with Mistress Trecia working on some of the many projects she has tasked me with when she suddenly says that she wanted me to drop everything I was doing and call her.

I phone up Mistress and we share some small talk, then she tells me to get on cam.  I hurriedly set up my "shrine" (throwing down my kneeling mat and plugging in my web cam) and then quickly strip.  (During my previous cam session, Mistress Trecia said I should be naked whenever I am on cam with her.)  Kneeling naked in front of the cam, we then continue our small talk for a few minutes, when Mistress mentions that she read my post about how much I’ve been aching lately and lamenting about how long its been since I was last allowed release.

She then demanded that I start stroking her cock.

In just a few minutes time, I was right at the edge, moaning and trying to talk to Mistress through my panting.  Mistress just laughed, saying "look at you!" as I struggled at the egde, completely unsure if this was a tease or if she would grant me some sort of release.

The torture contined as we discussed my upcoming trip and she again described the scene for me, kneeling naked at her feet, her making me rub against her feet and legs, towering over me and taunting me as a hung on the edge.  This, of course, made my current effort to not cum all the more difficult, my cock dripping pre-cum like a faucet.

At that point, the pressure was too much and I started to beg and plead for release.  "Please, Mistress.  Please.  Please let me cum.  Please…  "

Suddenly, Mistress’s light, taunting tone turned extremely stern and she commanded, "Come now!  NOW!  That cum is mine and I want it!"  It wasn’t more than a few strokes later and I was shooting spurt after spurt of sticky cum onto the carpet.    (Note to self:  Invest in a steam cleaner.)

Even before I was done cuming, Mistress said "Keep going - I want it all…" which meant I had to keep stroking my oh-so-sensitive cock, my body almost convulsing from the mix of exstacy and pain that can only come at that special moment.  It was my turn to beg again, asking Mistress for mercy and permission to stop.

When she finally gave the command, I stopped and fell forward to brace myself on the floor, my body shaking, sweat pouring from my brow, and the intoxicating after glow already coursing through my veins.  From some other planet, I heard Mistress’s voice say "good boy" and then sign off our call. 

After a few minutes, I was able to regain my composure and started the clean up, mopping my cum out of the carpet and getting redressed. 

That night, I slept a fit, dreamless sleep, oblivious to the world, just basking in the subspace buzz and the knowledge that I had pleased Mistress.

Midday yesterday, Mistress asked me when the next time we would "meet" on cam would be and she agreed to connect with me late that night after my wife went to bed.

I took my position kneeling in front of my webcam and we talked for bit before Mistress told me to strip.  (She chastised me for not already being naked, another case of me screwing up protocol due to my inexperience in her professional realm.  Other Dommes I’ve worked with considered it presumptuous to appear naked in front of them ["Who do you think you are?"], but Mistress Trecia is really into CFNM [Clothed Female, Nude Male] and told me that I should always appear naked in front of her on camera.)

Then, the teasing started.  She had me stroke my cock while she cooed into my ear, her intoxicating voice having its usual effect.  Of course, she reminded me that she was still sick and hadn’t had any pleasure of her own in awhile.  I immediately try to restrain myself to keep from getting too close, too quickly since I figured that there was no "end" in sight.

I think she noticed me doing that, because she then told me she might   let me finish, but on a countdown so I’d have to finish very quickly.   That made me try to get right on the edge and stay there in case I’d need to cum on command.  I have to hand it to Mistress - it was a purely devious conundrum she placed me in.

All was naught, however, since Mistress told me to stop stroking as I teetered on the edge.  She said she was really looking forward to my trip up to see her and then bid me good night.  The ache was unbelievable and it took me a few minutes to get enough composure to get dressed, put away my "shrine" (floor mat, sheet, towel, lube, etc.) and go to bed.

As you may notice from the missing key from the banner above, I am no longer caged.  I received the Points of Intrigue for the CB2000 chastity cage in the mail and they helped somewhat, but I’m just too big of a guy to get a good, solid fit of the cage which makes wearing it for any length of time potentially unsafe.

In addition, the more I thought about release being at least 24 hours away, the more leery I became about being locked in chastity.  Between needing to shave and clean, and the fact that I’m married and I haven’t figured out how to introduce Mistress to my wife yet, the thought of having no way to undo the cage in an emergency was pretty daunting.  Mistress and I are actually working on a project that may help me and other boys in my position, but that’s top secret for the time being.

Mistress told me to hold on to the cage for now in case she wants to use it for situational chastity (I’m sure she will find some use for it while I’m visiting her) and told me not to be too upset about not living up to this challenge.  I am, however, really disappointed that I wasn’t able to fulfill Mistress’s wishes and that I’ve let her down in this way.

Mistress did  immediately start to put other interesting ideas in my head, including her marking me (either with a brand or tattoo) and having me get a Prince Albert piercing.  I had my nipples pierced once upon a time and loved  it, so I’ve been looking at PA information on-line all day to educate myself and see what it would really take.  I’m tempted to discuss getting one on the last day of my visit with Mistress as a final devotion.

Today, Mistress is sick, flattened by some bug or another that’s going around.  To make herself feel better, she’s instructed me to perform some extra suffering on her behalf.   I had the choice if extending my daily devotion to her by an additional 34 minutes or by only 15 minutes if I stroked with a combination of Icy Hot and lube.  (She said that toothpaste worked well in the absence of Icy Hot.)

I have decided to try the toothpaste mixture because (a) I don’t know if I could last 34 minutes and don’t want to fail this test as well and (b) I’m always interested in new kinks and, having never tried this, the warped part of my mind wants to try it out.

The optimistic part of my brain is sure it can’t be all that bad, but something tells me that Mistress’s devious mind would not have crafted this task unless it would make me suffer appropriately. 

I’ll know soon enough…

Today, I moved one step closer to my "in person" meeting with Mistress Trecia.  After some logistics discussions with Mistress, I booked my flight and hotel as well as turned in my vacation request at work.  Now I just have to wait the two months until the date arrives, something that is already proving difficult as I get more giddy about the trip with each passing day.

As part of my meeting Mistress, I am planning on bringing a large gift, something that not only shows my devotion but something that hopefully returns at least a small part of the joy Mistress has brought to my life since we’ve met.  (I need to clam up immediately or I’m going to start spilling details and I would miss the pleasure of watching Mistress open the gifts with no expectations nor hints as to what they contain.) 

Traveling to meet someone I’ve met over the Internet, especially for something so intimate and secret (I can’t think of a single person who I could or would tell where I’m going), is freaking me out a little bit.  While part of me needs to kneel at Mistress’s feet and bask in her aura, this is Stranger Danger 101 in a nutshell, except that instead of candy I’m being offered the chance to fulfill my deepest, darkest desires.  Sure, ma’am - I love puppies!  Let me hop right into that nondescript van!

In all seriousness, I’m not afraid of being abducted, at least not outside of an awesome scene.  Mistress and I have been talking a great deal over the past few weeks and have connected on a very deep level.  Our pasts align in many ways (both within the D/s scene as well as our personal backgrounds), but we are also just very much alike.  We share the same tastes in books, TV shows, erotic torture, video games, theme park rides, and so on.  That I just stumbled into this relationship on a fluke just reaffirms my belief in Karma and that good things come to good people.

Also, since this is the first time I’ve had live contact with a professional Domme, I’m nervous about screwing up the expected protocol or inadvertently taking advantage of Mistress’s good graces.  (For instance, should I ask for a ride from the airport?  I thought no and picked a hotel with free shuttle service, but have since been offered a ride.)  I’m playing it by ear, explicitly asking questions when I’m really afraid that I’m crossing the line and planning to handle everything from transportation to food on my own just in case to make sure I don’t make any assumptions about what to expect.  (I mean, this isn’t a pre-paid tour package, it’s a visit to the Goddess!)

One interesting twist is that Mistress demanded that she receive her own key to my room so she can come and go as she pleases.  I had thought that my hotel would be my own safe zone during the week.  While I’m not uncomfortable with giving up that buffer zone, it does reinforce the fact that I will be in service during my time with Mistress, wholly and completely.  I’ve already decided that I’m going to need to keep the hotel room stocked with Mistress’s brands of coffee and cigarettes and figured that I’m probably going to be forced to be naked when not outside.  (Or, maybe then, too, come to think of it…)

In any case, the end of March can not come too quickly!

I was feeling kind of blah this morning, so I decided to take a sick day and just chill at home.  Of course, Mistress had different ideas for me.  First of all, she had another list of things she needed done for her web sites.  Then, I had some work to do learning more about building in Second Life as another step toward helping fulfil Mistress’s goals there.

Things really got interesting, however, when Mistress messaged me to say "I am changing things up.  I want you to tease my cock all day."  Her order sounded pretty simple:  cum at least three times, but not more than once per hour, and keep my cock hard all day.  As with most things Mistress tasks me with, this was an incredible challenge. 
What made it more challenging is the time between when I was allowed to cum and when I was allowed to stop stroking.  Trying to type "May I stop, Mistress?" one-handed while suffering the agony of stroking my super-sensitive, post-orgasm cock was difficult to say the least.

Fortunately, Mistress allowed me to stop so I could continue my work, but would pop in now and again to tell me it was time to cum for her again.  By the third attempt, my cock was really raw.  Mistress also played an especially cruel trick on me - she told me to start stroking, then promptly went off-line.  This meant a period of time where I was hanging on the edge waiting for her return so I could have permission to finish.

I must hand it to Mistress - she really knows how to keep me on my toes.  With my daily denial devotions, I’ve been slowly training my body to get used to finding the edge of an orgasm and then backing away.  Now, all of that conditioning I’ve done has been completely reset thanks to today’s need to force one orgasm after another.

I have been forbidden to do any touching at all tomorrow which, considering the raw and abused state Mistress’s cock is in right now, should be the easiest thing Mistress has asked me to do yet.

While my day of service was fantastic, it can’t beat the buzz I’m still feeling from yesterday’s discussion about my trip to meet Mistress in person.  If everything goes as planned, I will be up to see her during the last week of March.  I spent a good deal of time last night not only working out travel arrangements but also selecting the extravagant collection of gifts I plan to bring as a tribute.  Since I enjoy bestowing gifts upon Mistress as a way of showing respect and returning the joy I get from my time in subspace, I have been keeping notes during our talks and sessions for gift ideas based on things Mistress has wanted or would enjoy.  (There is nothing better than someone saying "I really wish I had…" and then you showing up with one tied in a bow.)

I can’t wait for the chance to kneel at Mistress’s feet in person and show my gratitude for all of the positive things that our relationship has brought me in the past two weeks.

Like any self-respecting geek, I’ve known about Second Life (SL) since its inception.  I’ve never really been inclined to participate, however, because it seemed like a "massively multiplayer" game with all the game removed, all filler and no meat.  During my first 30 minutes exploring the world, I realized how wrong I was.

Of course, it also didn’t take more than 30 minutes to accidentally stumble into SL’s vast and diverse BDSM community.

Mistress Trecia has been a member of SL for some time now and told me about her dream to have her own virtual estate, complete with castle and a stable of boys to bend to her every whim.  With my technical and artistic bents, I figured a fitting tribute to Mistress would be to use my talents make her dream come true and started learning about what makes SL tick.

After about a week of poking around, Mistress asked me to give her a tour of the spots I found.  We did a little wandering around, but eventually found ourselves at a place simply known as "The Dungeon", a showroom of bondage equipment sponsored by a popular vendor.  Mistress had me demonstrate many of the gear that was there, but then she found a devious combination tucked away in a corner.

Adjacent to each other were a kneeling rack and a fucking machine and it didn’t take Mistress’s tormenting mind long to figure out the perfect combination - her poor boy chained to the rack, teased and tormented, then forced to watch Mistress pleasure herself on the machine.

Mistress ordered me to remove my clothes and gave me a penis to wear.  (In SL, avatars are created naked, but have no genitalia.)  The penis she gave me, however, was very special gadget build especially for Denial Dommes.  Once she had registered herself as its owner, she gained totally control over my new cock.  She could then tell it what she was doing (stroke, lick) and the cock would describe to me in graphic detail was was happening.  ("[Mistress]’s hand, slick and wet with baby oil, grasps your cock and slowly teases it with gentle strokes.")  The cock kept track of my arousal level and eventually appended "You are so frustrated, you begin to cry" to each statement.  Mistress also set a "denial timeout" to basically force my virtual self to ride the edge of orgasm for as long as she demanded.

As this was going on, Mistress climbed aboard the fucking machine.  It was fully animated with sound effects, so I was treated to her avatar bucking on the saddle accompanied by loud, passionate moans and the steady buzzing of the attached vibrator.

While I entered the session very playfully, it actually ended up being a very intense experience.  Between the erotic prose, the moaning audio, and Mistress’s own descriptions of what she would do were we together in person really got to me.  By the end of the virtual session, the fronts of my PJs were soaked with pre-cum and my denial devotion that night was extremely difficult since I was almost at the edge before I even started.

The next day, I had a new determination to make Mistress’s estate happen.  While there is a selfish motive to my work, I also enjoy the thought that I will be drawing so many more unsuspecting boys into Mistress’s lair like the colorful leaves of a Venus Fly Trap.  In addition to taking a crash course in building and scripting, I’ve also started seriously scouting locations.  I found one parcel that’s a little pricey but is unbelievably gorgeous.  (It’s a small, wooded island with a waterfall that looks like something out of Exit to Eden.)

I will share pictures of the estate’s progress as it begins to take shape.

The deed is done.

As you can see, I’ve updated the graphic at the top of the page to reflect my new state.  My cock is now a prisoner, locked away in a tiny plastic cage and Mistress will soon be holding the only keys that can set me free.  (Yes, those are the actual keys pictured above.  I wanted a reminder of what was taking away the one thing that makes me distinctly male, those tiny little pieces of brass are now guardians of Mistress’s property.)

I am very glad she made me wait to open the box.  It was a magical unveiling, stripping away the packing material to find a small gray box tied with a silver string.  Inside the box, swaddled in silver tissue paper was the object of my torment.  I really need to meet the wicked genius who invented the CB-2000.  It is an engineering masterpiece.  The unit shipped with five different size base rings, three different length locking pins, and a variety of spacers.  The locking pin goes through the cock ring, the ring goes on, the spacers go on the pin, and then the cage slides into place and is locked.  The variety of components means that it can accommodate any sized cock and balls.

The first fitting was really  tight.  After about 15 minutes, my balls got cold and tingly, so Mistress told me to adjust it immediately.  I still need to adjust it a little bit to make sure it’s inescapable while still being comfortable enough so I can maintain my regular workout routine.  My only remaining fear (besides being locked away for weeks at a time) is that it will show under my work clothes.  I think I’m going to try my khakis on tonight to make sure I don’t have a panic attack tomorrow morning.

The one small bit of comfort is that Mistress finally let me cum before I was locked away.  I can’t tell you how powerful my orgasm was, between being brought to the edge daily for the last two weeks and having Mistress in my ear reminding me that this was her cock under her control.  (She had me put on the cock ring of the chastity cage before she let me cum, so I was already within her grasp.)  It didn’t take much stroking before my cock was throbbing in my hand and I was panting pleas for release while Mistress laughed at me before finally granting that which I needed so badly. 

I’m staring at the keys now, knowing that in about 12 hours they will be going into a FedEx envelope on their way to another state leaving me completely in Mistress’s control.

I am now her property, as sure as if she had branded me.

The box you see to the left looks ordinary.  Something dropped onto thousands of porches every hour by uniformed drivers in their nondescript vans.

But this box - this box is special.  Concealed within its corrugated walls is a gateway, the portal that leads to my next level of servitude.

Inside is a chastity cage ordered at Mistress’s request.  It’s called the CB2000, a flashy, high-tech name for a concept centuries old - assuming complete control over the sexuality of another.

Even though I know what this troublesome little box holds for me, I have been forbidden to open it until Mistress can share the proecess with me on Monday.  The unsealing of this package will, I’m sure, be quickly followed by the sealing of something else, encased in its unforgiving cage crafted of shiny new plastic.

It was just over a week ago that I met Mistress Trecia and I never expected to be at such a point so fast, ready to give up my very manhood to her whim, submitting to her ultimate control from so far away. 

I can’t explain it myself, to some degree.  My mind and gut were pinging with cautions when I took my first timid step just to say "Hello".  How did I get here in a week?  What insane spell have I been placed under that makes me want to submit myself so wholly and completely?

But that is what makes this so intoxicating - that feeling that I’m standing with my toes at the edge of the cliff, Mistress standing at the bottom of the chasm beckoning me to just take one…tiny…simple…step.  Come on, boy - it won’t hurt at all. 

Trust me.

So what can I do, really, but thrust myself into her silky grasp and surrender.

Surrender…

Today was my first session with Mistress Trecia and, having not really known what to expect going in, I must say I ended up high as a kite from my time in subspace afterwards.

The session basically consisted of me naked and on my knees in front of a web cam with Mistress Trecia on the phone giving me orders in that sultry voice of hers that drives me completely crazy.  I was unbelievably self-conscious and nervous, both for being naked in front of a stranger (and from two states away, no less) but also because I’m not very comfortable with my current weight.  I had also not put myself into the hands of a Domme in any way in almost 10 years, so there were some trust issues brewing as well.

I was partially afraid that a virtual session would not pack the same punch as a real-life one and I’d therefore not be able to reach the blissful place I go in my head.  While the feelings didn’t start out that intensely, I was completely overwhelmed about half-way through and I hit that sweet spot where nothing exists except Mistress and me.  I’d forgotten how amazing that can feel and just got completely lost in that moment, kneeling, exposed, eyes closed, stroking my cock, Mistress whispering into my ear asking how it felt to be wholly and completely hers.  Just…..wow.

The one absolute horror of the session arrived when I realized I wouldn’t be physically able to cum.   Mistress Trecia gave me the green light to cum into a glass for her (an act that I was sure would lead someplace interesting), but I just couldn’t do it.  Some combination of stage fright, the intense emotions I was feeling, and Zoloft all conspired to deny me the release I’ve been seeking for a week now.  (As a daily devotion, Mistress Trecia has had me stroke to just before the point of cumming twice per day.  Needless to say, my body is aching for that sweet release.)  Of course,  Mistress didn’t mind and, in many ways, it sounded like she enjoyed my being pathetic and humiliated almost as much as allowing me to have a reward.

She also wanted me to chat after the session to describe what I was feeling to talk it out (a process Mistress referred to as "postcare").  To me, this is just one more thing that separates Mistress Trecia from a mere phone sex operator and proves to me that being a Domme and Goddess is just as much a part of her being as serving as a sub is to mine.

At the end of our talk, we got to the discussion about money and my contribution.  I’d been dreading that to some degree as my past experiences have never involved payment.  (I’m not laying down one of those "I’ve never paid of it" vibes - just stating a fact.  FWIW, I have paid for just about everything but including a memorable soapy sandwich with two Thai girls during my last visit to Pattaya Beach.)  In the past, I’ve either acted as a service sub (doing small jobs and/or technical work as my devotion) or just been a plaything that would be willing to go to parties and out in public "in role".  (Basically, sitting at a Domme’s feet with a collar and leash, giving foot rubs, and fetching drinks on demand.)  

Any hesitation vanished, however, on the reflection that she’s done more for my mental health in the past week than I’ve been able to achieve in 30 years with 5 different shrinks.  (She even discussed helping me work through some of the childhood trauma inflicted upon me by my mother, something that I’ve never been offered or even considered.)  I plan to do some number crunching tonight and come up with a retainer plan that will make Mistress happy and leave me enough money to buy her gifts throughout the year to show my appreciation for reawakening this long dormant part of my sexuality.

All in all, any regrets I felt venturing into this relationship have faded and I’m willingly allowing myself to be pulled deeper into my role at Mistress’s whim.  It’s only going to get more interesting from here…